Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 31903
  • Number of comments : 2267
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - 17 hours ago<b>CharismaGeek</b> - 24 hours ago<b>MadmoazelP</b> - yesterday at 5:00am<b>trucker2</b> - yesterday at 1:32am<b>BirdieCurls</b> - yesterday at 11:31pm<b>itsalanis</b> - yesterday at 10:03pm<b>toenails10</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 7:21am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 4:56am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 9:54pm<b>guiltySnake</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 9:32am<b>CierraMichelle1</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 2:05am<b>I_Am_Melanie</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 8:46pm<b>Roozb</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 8:45pm<b>kylem866</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 7:25pm<b>Balphleair</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:59pm<b>twerking_riggs</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:23pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 6:04pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 3:02pm

Fucked!<b>trucker2</b> - yesterday at 7:32am<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 4:09am<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 11:35pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 6:50pm<b>Bolai</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 8:09pm<b>sam_AHS</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 8:29pm<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 12:14pm<b>IncognitoPoison</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 5:31pm<b>Aurellius</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 9:20am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 2:45am<b>imerichello</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 1:11am<b>interesting33</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 2:53pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 5:43am<b>nezumii</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 5:24am<b>gkmd98</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 12:09pm<b>MadameMacabre</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 11:29am<b>One_Way</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:50am<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 9:36pm

MrSassypants's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML


I agree, your life sucks (34954) - you deserved it (5617)

On 05/11/2015 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I realised I've been depressed about my recent break up for longer than the relationship even lasted. FML

Today, my dad got over his aversion to tight pants, giving everyone at the DMV a good look at his package in skin-tight blue jeans. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25709) - you deserved it (2235)

On 05/01/2015 at 11:25am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my boss told me I ask too many questions and that's why they cut my hours in half. Officially, I'm a "Pharmacy Technician in Training", which means I'm trying to teach myself how to do the job without killing someone. All from on the job experience and an outdated textbook. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29174) - you deserved it (2480)

On 05/01/2015 at 2:12am - work - by PharmSlave (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, due to awkward circumstances, I am living with my ex-girlfriend and her new girlfriend. FML

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35349) - you deserved it (3937)

On 04/27/2015 at 12:58am - work - by advanced history teacher (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27255) - you deserved it (9507)

On 04/26/2015 at 11:12pm - misc - by rookiemistake (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33005) - you deserved it (10024)

On 04/26/2015 at 12:05am - intimacy - by montanadinosaur (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss gave me the job of dealing with the guys doing the roofing at our store. His reasoning is that since we're all Hispanic, I'm perfect for the job because "You guys all know each other." FML


I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (2554)

On 04/22/2015 at 11:06am - work - by -_- (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband accidentally erased some pictures from our hard drive. No worries, nothing major: just everything from our wedding and the birth of our first child. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34683) - you deserved it (3772)

On 04/17/2015 at 2:15pm - misc - by testom - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28726) - you deserved it (5457)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:40am - health - by gottaflossmoreoften (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29434) - you deserved it (17652)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally had nice enough weather to dry my clothes on the washing line. Two hours later, all my clothes were stolen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (3737)

On 04/03/2015 at 6:44am - misc - by clothesthief - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29132) - you deserved it (2789)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by King.Dick. (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31242) - you deserved it (3627)

On 03/31/2015 at 5:35am - love - by lucasbeck99 (man) - United States (Texas)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: