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MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15409
  • Number of comments : 1830
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>iluvFMLs15</b> - 9 hours ago<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - 24 hours ago<b>42LifeUniverse</b> - yesterday at 12:37am<b>ohSNAPyall</b> - yesterday at 10:47pm<b>groovy579</b> - yesterday at 8:27pm<b>Davids9199</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:35am<b>Paco_el_Taco</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:29pm<b>almightyteapot</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 4:22pm<b>Fallout_2077</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 4:12pm<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:25pm<b>starcaller17</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:58pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:14pm<b>trellz17</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 12:00pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:10am<b>Connerm</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:36am<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:15am<b>Treken</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 9:33am<b>Sara95</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:49am

Liked!<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:20pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38822) - you deserved it (2581)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

#20881137
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54327) - you deserved it (4568)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML

#20880890
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39177) - you deserved it (3101)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML

#20878595
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18249) - you deserved it (52539)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by :| (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, in French class we had to write love letters as an exercise. Since my boyfriend recently broke up with me by text message, I ended up writing a 20-sentence love letter in French to my cat. FML

#20878541
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42408) - you deserved it (3858)

On 09/12/2013 at 5:24pm - love - by Frenchie - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, I finally got up the courage to talk to my four-year boyfriend about how insecure I've been feeling in our relationship recently, and how I needed his support while I try to get my self-esteem back on-track. He fell asleep mid-conversation. FML

#20868475
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37067) - you deserved it (4681)

On 09/05/2013 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46450) - you deserved it (3655)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

#20867471
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39470) - you deserved it (6676)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49491) - you deserved it (10676)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

#20862659
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41548) - you deserved it (5133)

On 09/01/2013 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36878) - you deserved it (3018)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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