Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Online | Search for a member

MrSassypants

10Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17397
  • Number of comments : 1906
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>imsoeffingbored</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Codecodex2</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Noah197099</b> - 2 hours ago<b>anonykinetic</b> - 5 hours ago<b>stephenseiber1</b> - 23 hours ago<b>missblove</b> - yesterday at 7:20pm<b>DenverTyrrell</b> - yesterday at 6:11pm<b>devildog562</b> - yesterday at 12:44am<b>vintagebubble</b> - yesterday at 10:41pm<b>josh2014</b> - yesterday at 10:19pm<b>nataliewby</b> - yesterday at 10:06pm<b>ohmandapants</b> - yesterday at 10:05pm<b>Tiaxlnr</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 7:17pm<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 7:06pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 4:27pm<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 7:26am<b>daSassyPants</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:39pm<b>thatonepersonguy</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:57pm

Liked!<b>anonykinetic</b> - yesterday at 5:53am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Jthewat</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:19pm<b>frances1942</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:36am<b>nix1993</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:20am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 5:28am<b>Prismo_Feeds</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:48am<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:49pm<b>jhill5472</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:25pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:20pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML

#21002184
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43470) - you deserved it (3617)

On 12/23/2013 at 5:44am - kids - by rejected (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came home after working on a difficult case. My husband wasn't home so I hopped into bed. My feet felt something and I reached down and picked it up out of the sheets. It was lacy black thongs. I don't own black thongs. FML

#20999870
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51093) - you deserved it (3334)

On 12/21/2013 at 2:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

#20999827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46527) - you deserved it (4057)

On 12/21/2013 at 1:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

#20998520
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33710) - you deserved it (5261)

On 12/19/2013 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a guy in the street drawing caricatures, and I decided to pay him to do one of me. Being a caricature, I looked pretty monstrous in it. When I showed it to my mum later, she shuddered and said, "Yeah, looks just like you." FML

#20998272
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33384) - you deserved it (3867)

On 12/19/2013 at 5:13pm - misc - by ;_; (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out the money my husband's been funneling from our bank account wasn't for drugs or gifts for another girl like I thought. It was for a guy he stupidly believed was a foreign diplomat, who supposedly needed to bribe officials in order to send us several million dollars. FML

#20997988
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39703) - you deserved it (3893)

On 12/19/2013 at 12:20pm - money - by you fucking idiot (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I managed to infect a clean computer with a virus while looking up info on how to rid my other computer of the same virus. FML

#20992711
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35954) - you deserved it (7568)

On 12/14/2013 at 8:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50955) - you deserved it (5320)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found on Facebook that my best friend of 10 years is getting married next week. I'm guessing my invite got lost in the mail. FML

#20976772
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44223) - you deserved it (3158)

On 12/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by JD - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

#20976567
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42021) - you deserved it (3927)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46028) - you deserved it (3803)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I helped a nice middle-aged lady pick out a sweater. She then opened her changing room door to ask for my opinion. I still don't understand why she had to take everything else off to try on a sweater. FML

#20968575
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47862) - you deserved it (4308)

On 11/24/2013 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45042) - you deserved it (5360)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: