Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Online | Search for a member

MrSassypants

42Liked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 21169
  • Number of comments : 2026
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>DoomSkuller</b> - 23 hours ago<b>XOLucy_21XO</b> - 23 hours ago<b>bwebb17</b> - yesterday at 3:20pm<b>ifunnyftw</b> - yesterday at 12:47pm<b>sandrisima</b> - yesterday at 11:58am<b>aliciarnold</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 9:30am<b>marythecat333</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 8:46am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 8:27am<b>JuliaaNoelle</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 1:42am<b>1slayerpikmin1</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 10:45pm<b>Odstin</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 6:35pm<b>coltonte3</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 6:22pm<b>HyunnK</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 3:53pm<b>Mr_Anonymous_13</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 1:17pm<b>Miizuo</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:13am<b>fire_flies</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 9:20am<b>tantanpanda</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 1:58am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 1:49am

Liked!<b>Baustigt</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 2:29pm<b>marythecat333</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:58pm<b>SideOfTheAngels</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 12:39am<b>xninix</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 10:56pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 10:06am<b>Firegirl741</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:12am<b>HyunnK</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 12:40am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:02pm<b>LovelessAlex</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:15pm<b>nothemother</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 5:12pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 10:32am<b>ErithianForce</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 4:28am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:41am<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 11:32pm<b>SEROKE</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 11:08am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 8:22am<b>Floortje</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:14am<b>Fiorella1</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 8:51am

MrSassypants's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36409) - you deserved it (3094)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

#21302056
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29559) - you deserved it (7144)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:03pm - love - by oops (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML

#21301556
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27054) - you deserved it (5713)

On 11/18/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

#21299204
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28719) - you deserved it (2331)

On 11/14/2014 at 9:18pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32142) - you deserved it (3718)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML

#21298328
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35025) - you deserved it (2079)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:17pm - misc - by really - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

#21297437
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34590) - you deserved it (3274)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21am - love - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my cat tunneled her way under the covers to sleep beside me. It was really cute until she panicked in the middle of the night and practically skinned me alive trying to find her way out. FML

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

#21295011
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35175) - you deserved it (2818)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:36pm - misc - by ItGirl - Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." FML

#21291174
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35881) - you deserved it (3014)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:54am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

#21290234
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30730) - you deserved it (2690)

On 11/02/2014 at 1:30am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML

#21289586
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33971) - you deserved it (12916)

On 11/01/2014 at 8:58am - misc - by That Guy - United States (Florida)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually tried to justify his cheating by saying it doesn't count as cheating if the girl's bisexual. FML

#21288568
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32521) - you deserved it (2517)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML

#21286908
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31865) - you deserved it (3593)

On 10/28/2014 at 10:07am - misc - by bottombarrel - United States (Ohio)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: