MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

218Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 34451
  • Number of comments : 2312
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 4:31pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 2:32pm<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 8:41am<b>samsterling</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 9:21pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 2:28pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 10:32pm<b>NostalgiaFreak9</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 1:27pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 4:37pm<b>Tymaster5</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 4:59pm<b>ima_rock</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 1:25am<b>burgermike92</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 12:03am<b>u_mad_bro</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 6:13pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 4:39pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 3:16am<b>andrmac</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 10:58am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 1:32am<b>Hazel515</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 12:42am<b>dizzyable</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 8:01am

Fucked!<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 2:42pm<b>ima_rock</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 7:25am<b>eski2015</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 3:47am<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 3:21pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 11:26pm<b>kitkatjoy_96</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 4:16am<b>BrainEaters</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 7:48am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:46am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 5:02pm<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:50am<b>turtles_yup</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:15pm<b>TheMike23</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:27pm<b>MrGodface</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:57am<b>AwesomeRPGDigo</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:51pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:29pm<b>marvelvsdc</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 5:31am<b>DeishaW</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 6:58am<b>hersheykisses511</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:49am

MrSassypants's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pull chunks of digested blanket out of my dog's ass because she refuses to listen to me when I tell her not to eat the damn blanket. I can't stop smelling it. FML

by LPS8585 / 08/31/2015 at 10:59pm / United States (California) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

by FuckThis / 08/31/2015 at 9:16am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2015 at 11:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I could make more money being on welfare than I can at my current job. FML

by Silver_Jet / 08/30/2015 at 10:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML

by O0hdear / 08/27/2015 at 1:44pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, on my daughter's 9th birthday, I have to let her know that her dog died in his sleep overnight. Happy birthday. FML

Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML

by Anon / 08/27/2015 at 4:37am / United States / Work

Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML

by tortureromoretorture / 08/26/2015 at 8:28pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I planned on telling the girl I like that I have feelings for her. What I didn't plan on was having a panic attack and whispering "I really like you!" super creepily and immediately saying "bye" and running away in shame. FML

by Afroman720 / 08/26/2015 at 12:14pm / United States (Utah) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boss broke off our relationship because he said it's inappropriate. I really liked him, but I accepted it and respected his integrity. A few hours later, I found out he's now dating my colleague. FML

by salope / 08/26/2015 at 4:33am / Work

Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML

by whovian221b / 08/25/2015 at 6:46pm / United States / Health

Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML

by FlyAwayPlease / 08/25/2015 at 6:38pm / United Kingdom (Flintshire) / Love

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a concert and the performer told everyone to wave their phones in the air. I threw my hand up and then a huge woman caught my iPhone and disappeared into the crowd. FML

Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2015 at 10:03am / United States (North Carolina) / Health