Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Online | Search for a member

MrSassypants

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16267
  • Number of comments : 1859
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>ninjadinos</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Tbear11</b> - 23 hours ago<b>Slothapus</b> - 24 hours ago<b>carzaki27</b> - yesterday at 8:06am<b>Flaming_Pandas</b> - yesterday at 11:03pm<b>devildog562</b> - yesterday at 8:35pm<b>rozline96</b> - yesterday at 8:12pm<b>sammiixoxo</b> - yesterday at 4:49pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - yesterday at 1:02pm<b>xokpxo</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 3:46am<b>kittina</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:14am<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 1:04am<b>ispeakspanish</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 12:59am<b>Prismo_Feeds</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 12:47am<b>Harpy</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 10:52pm<b>alynnek</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 9:39pm<b>DanShowsNoMercy</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 8:38pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 8:16pm

Liked!<b>Prismo_Feeds</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:48am<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:49pm<b>jhill5472</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:25pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:20pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

#21025356
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42685) - you deserved it (3491)

On 01/12/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by tired individual (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boss hung a dartboard in his office. It has a printout of my employee photo taped to it. FML

#21023884
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38143) - you deserved it (4421)

On 01/10/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by lk mm, n vwls (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

#21023350
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42863) - you deserved it (5308)

On 01/10/2014 at 6:15am - animals - by RaccoonFever - United States (California)

Today, my parents used my going away party as a cover up for my sister's surprise party. I didn't know until they brought out the cake. FML

#21022962
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39322) - you deserved it (2982)

On 01/09/2014 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML

#21022498
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41838) - you deserved it (4132)

On 01/09/2014 at 2:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I called my auto insurance company to try to get some discounts and lower my rate. I ended up adding $30 to my monthly payment. FML

#21021391
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37328) - you deserved it (12988)

On 01/08/2014 at 2:03pm - money - by Can2 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

#21020397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49210) - you deserved it (4797)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML

#21015236
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42566) - you deserved it (4807)

On 01/03/2014 at 6:03am - kids - by noway (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

#21014860
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50854) - you deserved it (4179)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

#21011655
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35756) - you deserved it (20469)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend found an old nude of me on his best friend's PS3. I had no idea this guy existed until we moved in with him. FML

Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML

#21010392
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34732) - you deserved it (28023)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML

#21003791
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44148) - you deserved it (2888)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:48pm - misc - by jhulich (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML

#21002184
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43450) - you deserved it (3617)

On 12/23/2013 at 5:44am - kids - by rejected (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: