Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Online | Search for a member

MrSassypants

66Liked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 23089
  • Number of comments : 2058
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>Classy_Sassy15</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Snyde</b> - 20 hours ago<b>5secondsofvvifi</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Akazuki</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Welshite</b> - 21 hours ago<b>hmmbrd77</b> - yesterday at 11:29pm<b>Febrezed</b> - yesterday at 3:26pm<b>TayTay13579</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 9:51am<b>thatgirlinoregon</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 9:24am<b>TylerDV</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:06am<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:06am<b>Marleyboy31994</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:42pm<b>thatoneguy1927</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 11:09pm<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:57pm<b>klb9</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:55pm<b>marcynik123</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:47pm<b>ms_fancypants</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:30pm<b>mattrd</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 9:31pm

Liked!<b>Febrezed</b> - yesterday at 9:26pm<b>thatgirlinoregon</b> - yesterday at 3:25pm<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 4:57am<b>Noah197099</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:53am<b>turdoblast</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 1:06am<b>82681</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:34am<b>bmmondi95</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 9:00pm<b>Kazze</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 7:31pm<b>Nicky816</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:49pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 6:36pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 2:34pm<b>kjax</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 12:06pm<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:52pm<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 8:59am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:42pm<b>xxNIGHTxx</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:41pm<b>nataliewby</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:10pm<b>WellFookMe</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:24am

MrSassypants's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

#19162083
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26003) - you deserved it (1994)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:38pm - misc - by eldar90 (man) - Israel

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

#19162083
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26003) - you deserved it (1994)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:38pm - misc - by eldar90 (man) - Israel

Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML

#19161997
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33600) - you deserved it (2061)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands British

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25075) - you deserved it (2846)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today, I dolled myself up and hit the campus gym, hoping to leave with a cute boy's number. I left in a stretcher. FML

#19155355
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10448) - you deserved it (27709)

On 02/24/2012 at 6:01pm - health - by gabby - United States (Texas)

Today, I dolled myself up and hit the campus gym, hoping to leave with a cute boy's number. I left in a stretcher. FML

#19155355
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10448) - you deserved it (27709)

On 02/24/2012 at 6:01pm - health - by gabby - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to make a rocket, using Diet Coke and Mentos. It worked pretty well, as both the kitchen window and my chipped tooth can testify. FML

#19154802
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7289) - you deserved it (29824)

On 02/24/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by alex (man) - United States (California)

Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML

#19152367
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18150) - you deserved it (1831)

On 02/24/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Lovernotafighter (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML

#19152367
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18150) - you deserved it (1831)

On 02/24/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Lovernotafighter (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from out of state. I found out someone online had told my husband that the "fumes" from hot showers can be lethal. As a precaution, he removed the draft-blocking bathroom door to make sure it's "properly ventilated." FML

#19116671
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19548) - you deserved it (2190)

On 02/19/2012 at 5:45pm - misc - by marriedtoaretard (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML

#19074036
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23639) - you deserved it (3746)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by rejected4ever - United States

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

#19042129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29879) - you deserved it (2357)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (Brabant Wallon)

Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML

#19033739
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24611) - you deserved it (15749)

On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML

#19033421
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28573) - you deserved it (5563)

On 02/09/2012 at 10:17am - love - by Zoey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML

#19026244
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (2984)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: