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MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

11Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17510
  • Number of comments : 1912
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

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MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

#18060415
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11581) - you deserved it (40541)

On 10/24/2011 at 1:04am - love - by ShitHappens - United States

Today, after my son graduated from nursing school which I, as a single parent, paid for with blood, sweat, and tears, during his grad party he was asked what his next step was. His response was, "Eh, I kinda realized I hate nursing." FML

#18060058
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35275) - you deserved it (3312)

On 10/24/2011 at 12:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML

#18008863
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6813) - you deserved it (47902)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44938) - you deserved it (5041)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

#17980491
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28570) - you deserved it (2959)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was late for work. Trying to cut a few seconds off the clock, I tried to open my breakfast candy bar while taking a piss. I ended up pissing all over myself and dropping the bar in the toilet. FML

#17960824
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8897) - you deserved it (36562)

On 10/11/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by Massasam - United States

Today, in the middle of explaining over the phone to my crush how I felt about him, I got a text from his best friend, who was apparently with him at the time. It said, "He doesn't like you, get over it. Stop rambling." FML

#17958014
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31060) - you deserved it (5332)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:32am - love - by poopooppachuu - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of explaining over the phone to my crush how I felt about him, I got a text from his best friend, who was apparently with him at the time. It said, "He doesn't like you, get over it. Stop rambling." FML

#17958014
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31060) - you deserved it (5332)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:32am - love - by poopooppachuu - United States (California)

Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML

#17957151
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21849) - you deserved it (1963)

On 10/11/2011 at 12:52am - misc - by nodad - United States

Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML

#17919835
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11514) - you deserved it (31311)

On 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent almost $200 on a planetarium show with my boyfriend, who loves astronomy. He said his favorite thing about it was that he could pick his nose without anyone noticing. FML

#17904030
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25836) - you deserved it (3360)

On 10/04/2011 at 2:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I applied for a job as a dishwasher. I was denied because I don't have enough experience. FML

#17903490
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28577) - you deserved it (2851)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:18pm - work - by SimpleSwimmer - United States (California)

Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML

#17810986
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35158) - you deserved it (7655)

On 09/23/2011 at 2:22am - love - by drastech99 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML

#17795407
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25371) - you deserved it (2984)

On 09/21/2011 at 12:42pm - love - by srloin (man) - United States

Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML

#17761753
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39307) - you deserved it (4691)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:39am - misc - by thedeerman (man) - United States (California)



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