About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.
Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 22 years old. I am 16. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34591) - you deserved it (4411)
On 06/13/2011 at 10:22am - misc - by suze44 - United States (Washington)
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend "Actually, its a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48764) - you deserved it (3088)
On 06/13/2011 at 5:11am - misc - by Bechara (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)
Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24237) - you deserved it (7663)
On 06/12/2011 at 3:21pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was the only passenger on a completely booked flight to have all their luggage left behind in another country. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28673) - you deserved it (2553)
On 06/10/2011 at 7:40am - misc - by leftbehind (man) - Colombia (Antioquia)
Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33228) - you deserved it (3323)
On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42873) - you deserved it (6041)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10298) - you deserved it (34308)
On 06/09/2011 at 4:32pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I shat out a staple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31537) - you deserved it (11573)
On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26993) - you deserved it (5232)
On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I thought an attractive guy was looking at my tits instead of my face, and prepared to act offended and perhaps flirt. Unfortunately, he was actually looking at the peeling and flaking sunburn in my cleavage, and informed me that Aloe might be helpful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9194) - you deserved it (27218)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Liz - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (4077)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15109) - you deserved it (29483)
On 06/08/2011 at 12:47pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35179) - you deserved it (2544)
On 06/08/2011 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27388) - you deserved it (6379)
On 06/08/2011 at 2:55am - love - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8803) - you deserved it (28409)
On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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