Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

MrSassypants

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15191
  • Number of comments : 1826
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>wondercat40</b> - 19 hours ago<b>onlychildFTW</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:23pm<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:36pm<b>akirakuran42</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:15pm<b>ohSNAPyall</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 9:00pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:37am<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:24am<b>zandra2020</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:30pm<b>NinjaDitto623</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:08pm<b>jjcoombs22</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:31pm<b>Dumonster1697</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:33pm<b>bagofpopkern</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:32pm<b>LiliLatte</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:02pm<b>LastQueenLyssa</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:43pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:51am<b>lexa1love</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:32am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:50pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:48am

Liked!<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:20pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

#17188929
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43456) - you deserved it (3561)

On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)

Today, in an amphitheater, someone hit the back of my head. As I turned around, the guy apologized and said he mistook me for his friend. I changed seats, and after a while, I got hit a second time. He was wrong again. FML

#17159323
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29022) - you deserved it (3375)

On 07/18/2011 at 3:09am - misc - by fthislyfe (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35361) - you deserved it (5488)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my friends told me all five of us should bring sleeping bags on our field trip; I brought mine only to find out they had told me that so they would get the four beds to themselves. They all 'forgot' to bring them and its only fair that I should sleep on the floor. We are here for a week. FML

#17131044
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30493) - you deserved it (3953)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:34am - misc - by bananagurl4242 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after 14 rice-filled days in China, I came back home. What's for lunch? Rice. FML

#17120359
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27156) - you deserved it (8995)

On 07/15/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by panos016 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a woman accuse me of trying to steal her husband over the phone, just because I called and asked for him. I'm an interviewer. FML

#17119657
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26348) - you deserved it (2402)

On 07/15/2011 at 7:38am - work - by TabbiNicole - United States

Today, I had a woman accuse me of trying to steal her husband over the phone, just because I called and asked for him. I'm an interviewer. FML

#17119657
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26348) - you deserved it (2402)

On 07/15/2011 at 7:38am - work - by TabbiNicole - United States

Today, I had a woman accuse me of trying to steal her husband over the phone, just because I called and asked for him. I'm an interviewer. FML

#17119657
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26348) - you deserved it (2402)

On 07/15/2011 at 7:38am - work - by TabbiNicole - United States

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

#17117147
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38084) - you deserved it (3448)

On 07/15/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by SCREWED (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned why my boyfriend of 10 months and I never hang out at his place. He still lives at home with his mother. He's 38. FML

#17116757
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28853) - you deserved it (5336)

On 07/15/2011 at 1:51am - love - by brsoxgirl - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML

#17106852
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21346) - you deserved it (1926)

On 07/14/2011 at 11:25am - work - by Breanne - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML

#17106852
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21346) - you deserved it (1926)

On 07/14/2011 at 11:25am - work - by Breanne - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was the waiter for my family at the village inn. This wasn't so bad until I found out they left me no tip, only a napkin that said, "Get a haircut." FML

#17106364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22490) - you deserved it (3140)

On 07/14/2011 at 10:17am - work - by alek - United States

Today, I was the waiter for my family at the village inn. This wasn't so bad until I found out they left me no tip, only a napkin that said, "Get a haircut." FML

#17106364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22490) - you deserved it (3140)

On 07/14/2011 at 10:17am - work - by alek - United States

Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML

#17093832
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27320) - you deserved it (2403)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by MIB (man) - United States (Indiana)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: