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MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

126Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 28604
  • Number of comments : 2107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>knobatnight</b> - yesterday at 8:30pm<b>Justine94_x</b> - yesterday at 3:56am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 4:28pm<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 4:13pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:15am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:01am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 9:01am<b>frogpotatoz088</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 5:02pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 12:14am<b>pikachurro</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 2:29am<b>Redmai</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:10pm<b>vote4paco</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 1:58pm<b>hayleymaybe</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 11:01pm<b>Mas8394z</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 10:45pm<b>facelick</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 9:28pm<b>Lanker</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 7:55pm<b>jwrpillard</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 7:46pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 7:42am

Fucked!<b>knobatnight</b> - 23 hours ago<b>asspole</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:03pm<b>lalundsten</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:03am<b>bugmenotmofo</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 5:01pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:57pm<b>Defalt</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:00pm<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 2:33pm<b>StrangeNigga</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:03am<b>ismedrage</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:48am<b>Starburrito</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 1:41pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:49am<b>Skyzeri</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 2:13am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 3:13pm<b>imunoz903</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:36am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:12pm<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 3:50pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 2:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:08pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

#19761420
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18533) - you deserved it (60174)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML

#19761318
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9745) - you deserved it (26694)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:15pm - misc - by cock sauce (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)

Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML

#19754526
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25262) - you deserved it (2435)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:00am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

#19747486
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25589) - you deserved it (4672)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by C0r1nn3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

#19717228
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31360) - you deserved it (6816)

On 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by dating a manchild (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML

#19716436
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23856) - you deserved it (3794)

On 06/01/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by kay (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML

Today, it was my last day at school before I graduate next week. Ten minutes into lunch break, I was brutally nailed in the neck by a football. Now, not only do I look like I was given a hickey by the Jolly Green Giant himself, I have to wear a neck brace at my graduation ceremony. FML

#19715623
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25447) - you deserved it (1812)

On 06/01/2012 at 2:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was admitted to hospital for suspected kidney failure. I called my best friend to let her know I couldn't make it to her birthday party tonight. She seemed to be infinitely more upset that I wouldn't be able to give her a birthday present. FML

#19715534
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21444) - you deserved it (1735)

On 06/01/2012 at 1:58pm - health - by Ashe (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

#19708636
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20239) - you deserved it (2077)

On 05/31/2012 at 6:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

#19680165
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25243) - you deserved it (2467)

On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML

#19679809
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8298) - you deserved it (25172)

On 05/25/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by MySummerinEurope (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML

#19679024
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15239) - you deserved it (2909)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by KieRendan (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML

#19678875
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5522) - you deserved it (34706)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by stupidity (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)

Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML

#19677033
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8042) - you deserved it (24738)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:07am - work - by emliv12 - Australia (Victoria)



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