About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.
Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 22 years old. I am 16. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9983) - you deserved it (152142)
On 06/16/2011 at 2:20am - intimacy - by crushed dreams - United States
Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38094) - you deserved it (4644)
On 06/16/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by mike oxsmall - United States
Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56497) - you deserved it (8697)
On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28732) - you deserved it (7319)
On 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by Seriously (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35809) - you deserved it (2399)
On 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm - health - by Braxam - United States
Today, I was approached by a police officer who instructed me to move because I was "threatening the elderly". I was sitting on a park bench in front of an old folks home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23353) - you deserved it (2077)
On 06/15/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by random - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was approached by a police officer who instructed me to move because I was "threatening the elderly". I was sitting on a park bench in front of an old folks home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23353) - you deserved it (2077)
On 06/15/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by random - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26844) - you deserved it (2180)
On 06/15/2011 at 9:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Sjelland)
Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26844) - you deserved it (2180)
On 06/15/2011 at 9:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Sjelland)
Today, I invited over my best friend, whom I've loved for over a year, since she had to tell me "something important". I got excited and thought she was going to tell me she loved me too. She ended up coming out to me, and wanted to know if I would meet her girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34199) - you deserved it (4217)
On 06/14/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by :( (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11190) - you deserved it (25901)
On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)
Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27769) - you deserved it (2391)
On 06/14/2011 at 6:47am - misc - by lalala (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8673) - you deserved it (26766)
On 06/13/2011 at 12:37pm - misc - by failure461 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my tampons weren't ear plugs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27028) - you deserved it (3196)
On 06/13/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by Evaki1 - Greece (Attiki)
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34585) - you deserved it (4411)
On 06/13/2011 at 10:22am - misc - by suze44 - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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