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MrSassypants

Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member

MrSassypants

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15204
  • Number of comments : 1826
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>wondercat40</b> - yesterday at 7:55am<b>onlychildFTW</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:23pm<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:36pm<b>akirakuran42</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:15pm<b>ohSNAPyall</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 9:00pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:37am<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:24am<b>zandra2020</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:30pm<b>NinjaDitto623</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:08pm<b>jjcoombs22</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:31pm<b>Dumonster1697</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:33pm<b>bagofpopkern</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:32pm<b>LiliLatte</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:02pm<b>LastQueenLyssa</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:43pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:51am<b>lexa1love</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:32am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:50pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:48am

Liked!<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:20pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML

#17761753
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38252) - you deserved it (4594)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:39am - misc - by thedeerman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML

#17749646
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19805) - you deserved it (8399)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Japaroni - United States

Today, after falling on my way out the door, hitting a bird with my car, and sitting in an hour and a half of traffic, I remembered I had the day off work. FML

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

#17688426
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39455) - you deserved it (11592)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

#17661363
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24065) - you deserved it (3996)

On 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm - work - by mike - United States

Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML

#17661028
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27731) - you deserved it (3626)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08pm - love - by mommydearest (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML

#17613922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28139) - you deserved it (8698)

On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30273) - you deserved it (3411)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML

#17534893
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32087) - you deserved it (5360)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:48am - kids - by callofdutyhater - United States (California)

Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML

#17528012
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30136) - you deserved it (7924)

On 08/20/2011 at 10:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 4 year old asked to go outside and play in the sprinkler. I told him not right now because I was busy and he's too little to play outside by himself. I came out of the laundry room later to find he'd brought the sprinkler in the house and turned the water on. At least he listened. FML

#17528012
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30136) - you deserved it (7924)

On 08/20/2011 at 10:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

#17497586
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24454) - you deserved it (11200)

On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

#17439919
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12495) - you deserved it (32361)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML

Today, I bought a $300 gym membership that gives me access to the company's non-premium gyms. The non-premium gyms are all closed due to construction, because they're being turned into premium gyms. FML

#17437930
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (6972)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:17am - money - by juanjohnfml - United States (California)



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