Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Offline (15 minutes ago) | Search for a member

MrSassypants

64Liked!

MrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 22959
  • Number of comments : 2057
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>TylerDV</b> - 7 hours ago<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Marleyboy31994</b> - 7 hours ago<b>thatoneguy1927</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - 8 hours ago<b>klb9</b> - 8 hours ago<b>marcynik123</b> - 8 hours ago<b>ms_fancypants</b> - 8 hours ago<b>mattrd</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Noah197099</b> - 10 hours ago<b>turdoblast</b> - 12 hours ago<b>melons</b> - 12 hours ago<b>82681</b> - 12 hours ago<b>TheTrainKid</b> - 13 hours ago<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - 15 hours ago<b>buckstop1</b> - 15 hours ago<b>cheeeksss</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Kyra1</b> - 15 hours ago

Liked!<b>Arwen_Evenstar</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Noah197099</b> - 4 hours ago<b>turdoblast</b> - 6 hours ago<b>82681</b> - 6 hours ago<b>bmmondi95</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Kazze</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Nicky816</b> - 12 hours ago<b>HarleyBlues</b> - 12 hours ago<b>XmasaX</b> - yesterday at 2:34pm<b>kjax</b> - yesterday at 12:06pm<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:52pm<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 8:59am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:42pm<b>xxNIGHTxx</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:41pm<b>nataliewby</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:10pm<b>WellFookMe</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:24am<b>Retaheki</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:15am<b>sNOOBie</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 10:31pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML

#19650903
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24008) - you deserved it (8852)

On 05/20/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by shygirl - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

#19649940
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23714) - you deserved it (2187)

On 05/20/2012 at 1:19am - misc - by slayerdeath - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML

#19637178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7332) - you deserved it (36776)

On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was trying to convince my husband to not trim the lower branches of my favorite tree. After pleading my case, I turned around and ran smack into one of said branches. My face and my dignity still hurt. FML

#19636760
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7759) - you deserved it (18390)

On 05/17/2012 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

#19623439
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39333) - you deserved it (4077) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm - misc - by lafinesse (woman) -

Today, I went to a club with some friends. I ordered two drinks from the waitress and gave her a fifty. She never returned with the change, and the rest of the staff claimed they didn't know who I was talking about. FML

#19623219
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24364) - you deserved it (5402)

On 05/14/2012 at 5:46pm - money - by Jon (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, after a little detective work, I found out the money that recently went missing from my college fund was transferred by my mother, to her own account. She claims it's to pay a parking ticket. Maybe I'm just stupid, but I didn't know they fined people over $3,500 for a parking violation. FML

#19618008
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24615) - you deserved it (1807)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend of two years logged into my Facebook account and broke up with himself. He is now receiving loads of sympathy, while I'm being accused of lying about it to save my reputation. FML

#19617909
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27545) - you deserved it (2677)

On 05/13/2012 at 5:26pm - love - by soso (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, a pigeon got into my apartment. After knocking over a very expensive vase, it panicked, rammed itself against a window, and shat all over the floor as it tried to get out. FML

#19611512
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19608) - you deserved it (1788)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:01pm - animals - by Eric Ngan - Singapore

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

#19607657
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24314) - you deserved it (3660)

On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

#19607447
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12704) - you deserved it (20813)

On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31733) - you deserved it (3193)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, I finally found out what the horrible smell at work was. A rat had decided to make its home in our emergency exit sign and had been fried by the electricity. I now have to fix this. Hello scorched dead rat. FML

#19569212
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21061) - you deserved it (1764)

On 05/03/2012 at 5:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

#19564735
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30230) - you deserved it (2126)

On 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML

#19564569
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30355) - you deserved it (4931)

On 05/02/2012 at 6:06pm - intimacy - by S12Sophia (woman) - France



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: