Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Online | Search for a member

MrSassypants

23Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18783
  • Number of comments : 1946
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>trellz17</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Blade12337</b> - yesterday at 7:21pm<b>Demig0d6</b> - yesterday at 6:56pm<b>wasliedtoasakid</b> - yesterday at 5:50pm<b>coyotefox</b> - yesterday at 7:33am<b>CallMeBatman</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 3:01pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:04am<b>RoperDaRipper</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:59am<b>Prismo_Feeds</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:23am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:17pm<b>ThatOneLazyChick</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:17am<b>Domdom96</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 7:14am<b>Schrypt</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 3:29am<b>quickit</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:34am<b>Echoa21</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:36pm<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:27pm<b>kangx1</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:09pm<b>ohSNAPyall</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 9:19pm

Liked!<b>Blade12337</b> - yesterday at 1:21am<b>wasliedtoasakid</b> - yesterday at 11:50pm<b>coyotefox</b> - yesterday at 1:33pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm<b>Domdom96</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:14pm<b>leviheichou</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 7:11am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 5:04am<b>Robby4800</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 12:43am<b>Hiktmae</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 12:10am<b>WadeNickerson</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 9:48pm<b>BaDumTsss</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 1:06pm<b>quickit</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:39am<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 3:38pm<b>anonykinetic</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 5:53am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Jthewat</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:19pm<b>frances1942</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:36am<b>nix1993</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:20am

MrSassypants's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

#19189371
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31640) - you deserved it (7811)

On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

#19189371
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31640) - you deserved it (7811)

On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

#19189124
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35124) - you deserved it (2446)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, I rescued a cactus from a lethal fall. It thanked me with a handful of spines. FML

#19188547
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8484) - you deserved it (28674)

On 02/29/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

#19162083
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (1990)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:38pm - misc - by eldar90 (man) - Israel

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

#19162083
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (1990)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:38pm - misc - by eldar90 (man) - Israel

Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML

#19161997
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33509) - you deserved it (2059)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands British

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25023) - you deserved it (2842)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today, I dolled myself up and hit the campus gym, hoping to leave with a cute boy's number. I left in a stretcher. FML

#19155355
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10407) - you deserved it (27649)

On 02/24/2012 at 6:01pm - health - by gabby - United States (Texas)

Today, I dolled myself up and hit the campus gym, hoping to leave with a cute boy's number. I left in a stretcher. FML

#19155355
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10407) - you deserved it (27649)

On 02/24/2012 at 6:01pm - health - by gabby - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to make a rocket, using Diet Coke and Mentos. It worked pretty well, as both the kitchen window and my chipped tooth can testify. FML

#19154802
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7269) - you deserved it (29748)

On 02/24/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by alex (man) - United States (California)

Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML

#19152367
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18098) - you deserved it (1827)

On 02/24/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Lovernotafighter (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML

#19152367
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18098) - you deserved it (1827)

On 02/24/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Lovernotafighter (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from out of state. I found out someone online had told my husband that the "fumes" from hot showers can be lethal. As a precaution, he removed the draft-blocking bathroom door to make sure it's "properly ventilated." FML

#19116671
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18367) - you deserved it (2094)

On 02/19/2012 at 5:45pm - misc - by marriedtoaretard (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML

#19074036
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23552) - you deserved it (3740)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by rejected4ever - United States



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: