About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.
Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 22 years old. I am 16. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother in law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25769) - you deserved it (2363)
On 06/20/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by firethorn - United States (Texas)
Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21410) - you deserved it (7712)
On 06/19/2011 at 2:46pm - health - by no one - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46924) - you deserved it (5176)
On 06/19/2011 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27554) - you deserved it (5192)
On 06/19/2011 at 2:03pm - kids - by screwedwoman27 - United States
Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied "No", he said "You mean you always look like that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24699) - you deserved it (3844)
On 06/19/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by notastoner (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't stop barking violently unless I held the end of a blanket for him to hump. I need a raise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26100) - you deserved it (2325)
On 06/19/2011 at 1:19am - work - by fattymcbutterpants - United States
Today, my brother thought it would be funny to disable my iPod Touch for 45 minutes. After 45 minutes, I went to enter my password. I missed a number accidentally. 50 minutes to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17276) - you deserved it (23654)
On 06/18/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by iDisable - Australia (Victoria)
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl has a crush on me. Too bad it's my co-worker's five year old granddaughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29178) - you deserved it (2959)
On 06/18/2011 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18219) - you deserved it (5777)
On 06/18/2011 at 5:49pm - misc - by Stormy - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37411) - you deserved it (4230)
On 06/18/2011 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68527) - you deserved it (4952)
On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)
Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7534) - you deserved it (75699)
On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States
Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30347) - you deserved it (3377)
On 06/18/2011 at 5:40am - kids - by stepmom (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my marriage counselor got divorced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34062) - you deserved it (3372)
On 06/18/2011 at 4:51am - love - by screwed - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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