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MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15463
  • Number of comments : 1830
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

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Liked!<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:20pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

#18222610
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27510) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm - kids - by Username - United States (Maryland)

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

#18222610
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27510) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm - kids - by Username - United States (Maryland)

Today, a month after my final bout of intimacy with the stage five clinger who's been borderline stalking me since high school, she called to tell me I'm going to be a father. FML

#18222551
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11828) - you deserved it (55475)

On 11/11/2011 at 8:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12221) - you deserved it (40467)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

#18060415
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11162) - you deserved it (39726)

On 10/24/2011 at 1:04am - love - by ShitHappens - United States

Today, after my son graduated from nursing school which I, as a single parent, paid for with blood, sweat, and tears, during his grad party he was asked what his next step was. His response was, "Eh, I kinda realized I hate nursing." FML

#18060058
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34554) - you deserved it (3251)

On 10/24/2011 at 12:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML

#18008863
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6798) - you deserved it (47846)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44870) - you deserved it (5037)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

#17980491
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28511) - you deserved it (2954)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was late for work. Trying to cut a few seconds off the clock, I tried to open my breakfast candy bar while taking a piss. I ended up pissing all over myself and dropping the bar in the toilet. FML

#17960824
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8880) - you deserved it (36510)

On 10/11/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by Massasam - United States

Today, in the middle of explaining over the phone to my crush how I felt about him, I got a text from his best friend, who was apparently with him at the time. It said, "He doesn't like you, get over it. Stop rambling." FML

#17958014
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31011) - you deserved it (5328)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:32am - love - by poopooppachuu - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of explaining over the phone to my crush how I felt about him, I got a text from his best friend, who was apparently with him at the time. It said, "He doesn't like you, get over it. Stop rambling." FML

#17958014
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31011) - you deserved it (5328)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:32am - love - by poopooppachuu - United States (California)

Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML

#17957151
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (1959)

On 10/11/2011 at 12:52am - misc - by nodad - United States

Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML

#17919835
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11408) - you deserved it (31122)

On 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent almost $200 on a planetarium show with my boyfriend, who loves astronomy. He said his favorite thing about it was that he could pick his nose without anyone noticing. FML

#17904030
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25121) - you deserved it (3302)

On 10/04/2011 at 2:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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