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MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

130Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 28802
  • Number of comments : 2120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>khorstmye</b> - 48 minutes ago<b>pandor</b> - one hour ago<b>JessieTaft</b> - 3 hours ago<b>hernanjaimes_</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Jiratias</b> - 6 hours ago<b>BigL99</b> - 18 hours ago<b>llamingo</b> - yesterday at 12:30pm<b>guardloverz123</b> - yesterday at 9:06am<b>Slycooper997</b> - yesterday at 3:19am<b>bigbluetardis</b> - yesterday at 2:31am<b>DumbAndYoung</b> - yesterday at 12:38am<b>y007346</b> - yesterday at 11:39pm<b>Ashfyr</b> - yesterday at 11:01pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - yesterday at 10:42pm<b>ItsAlly</b> - yesterday at 10:42pm<b>melons</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:29pm<b>thelochNess9</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 6:46pm<b>DerekCorbett</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:35pm

Fucked!<b>khorstmye</b> - just now<b>guardloverz123</b> - yesterday at 3:06pm<b>hayleymaybe</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 7:11pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:19pm<b>knobatnight</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 2:31am<b>asspole</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:03pm<b>lalundsten</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 4:03am<b>bugmenotmofo</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 5:01pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:57pm<b>Defalt</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:00pm<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 2:33pm<b>StrangeNigga</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:03am<b>ismedrage</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:48am<b>Starburrito</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 1:41pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:49am<b>Skyzeri</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 2:13am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 3:13pm<b>imunoz903</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:36am

MrSassypants's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume for their friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. FML

#20022923
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22517) - you deserved it (3907)

On 08/15/2012 at 5:14pm - misc - by ShowerStar (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20431) - you deserved it (3477)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20431) - you deserved it (3477)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#19996782
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (32480)

On 08/01/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

#19987975
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11585) - you deserved it (40069)

On 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by clayton (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML

#19987947
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21411) - you deserved it (2174)

On 07/27/2012 at 7:55pm - misc - by WTF is all I ask (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML

#19987750
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22896) - you deserved it (7969)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML

#19987123
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (3228)

On 07/27/2012 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realised just how cripplingly self-conscious I am, when I couldn't even fantasise about having sex with a guy without feeling shy and insecure about my body. FML

#19985398
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27996) - you deserved it (5003)

On 07/26/2012 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by PixiXOXO (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

Today, my parents informed that the man I am going to marry made the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML

#19982796
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26083) - you deserved it (3320)

On 07/25/2012 at 1:27am - misc - by strangebeans (woman) - United States

Today, I got on a two hour train ride to go to a concert. I had been so caught up in handling the train tickets that halfway to the concert, I realized I had left the concert tickets on my dresser. FML

#19981303
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21571) - you deserved it (7921)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by sirensaresexy - United States (New York)

Today, I got on a two hour train ride to go to a concert. I had been so caught up in handling the train tickets that halfway to the concert, I realized I had left the concert tickets on my dresser. FML

#19981303
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21571) - you deserved it (7921)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by sirensaresexy - United States (New York)

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

#19966963
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27196) - you deserved it (4905)

On 07/21/2012 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Lucy - United States (California)



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