MrSassypants

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Offline (the 09/23/2016 at 1:41am)

MrSassypants

237Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 36818
  • Number of comments : 2323
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>cats4lyfe</b> - yesterday at 3:06am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 9:35pm<b>manofmerr</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 1:05pm<b>AAHHHHH</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 10:45pm<b>NightHawk4926</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 3:34pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 1:59pm<b>DeezButs67</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 6:58am<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 1:12am<b>kittikat8ball</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 9:20am<b>Fennex3</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 8:50pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 3:53pm<b>BoomArum</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 3:07am<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 10:22am<b>billcosby31</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 3:10pm<b>xxdreamloverxx</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 2:51pm<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 4:01pm<b>LiquidGoldRose</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 6:09pm<b>DarkLink9001</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 10:21pm

Fucked!<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 7:59pm<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 6:38am<b>BoomArum</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 9:07am<b>billcosby31</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 9:10pm<b>cuz803</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 8:51pm<b>whosthedeadone</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 8:17am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 12:15pm<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 5:05am<b>seba7236</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 7:19am<b>Pikawarrior</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 12:19pm<b>airriderz15</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 9:37pm<b>toolazytotype99</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 9:04pm<b>tintarroja</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 8:17am<b>BakedBanana</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 4:44am<b>walker9879</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 4:26pm<b>Goat_E_mom</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 10:06pm<b>AirMelon</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 7:39am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 11:58am

MrSassypants's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, I finally got up the courage to talk to my four-year boyfriend about how insecure I've been feeling in our relationship recently, and how I needed his support while I try to get my self-esteem back on-track. He fell asleep mid-conversation. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2013 at 2:47am / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

by mother to an ugly doll / 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm / United States (South Dakota) / Health

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

by NotGabe / 09/01/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

by jfanous / 09/01/2013 at 6:40am / United States (California) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 1:06am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML

by grossedout / 08/29/2013 at 12:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

by still together / 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

by Miami6and3 / 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML

by jeed(1) / 08/25/2013 at 5:36pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Work