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MrSassypants

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MrSassypants
  • Town/Country : North Laurderdale, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11082
  • Number of comments : 1801
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 17. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

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MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

#17980491
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24808) - you deserved it (2667)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was late for work. Trying to cut a few seconds off the clock, I tried to open my breakfast candy bar while taking a piss. I ended up pissing all over myself and dropping the bar in the toilet. FML

#17960824
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8268) - you deserved it (34578)

On 10/11/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by Massasam - United States

Today, in the middle of explaining over the phone to my crush how I felt about him, I got a text from his best friend, who was apparently with him at the time. It said, "He doesn't like you, get over it. Stop rambling." FML

#17958014
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28924) - you deserved it (5061)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:32am - love - by poopooppachuu - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of explaining over the phone to my crush how I felt about him, I got a text from his best friend, who was apparently with him at the time. It said, "He doesn't like you, get over it. Stop rambling." FML

#17958014
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28924) - you deserved it (5061)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:32am - love - by poopooppachuu - United States (California)

Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML

#17957151
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17841) - you deserved it (1644)

On 10/11/2011 at 12:52am - misc - by nodad - United States

Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML

#17919835
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10504) - you deserved it (29402)

On 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent almost $200 on a planetarium show with my boyfriend, who loves astronomy. He said his favorite thing about it was that he could pick his nose without anyone noticing. FML

#17904030
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22050) - you deserved it (3020)

On 10/04/2011 at 2:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I applied for a job as a dishwasher. I was denied because I don't have enough experience. FML

#17903490
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23743) - you deserved it (2104)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:18pm - work - by SimpleSwimmer - United States (California)

Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML

#17810986
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32131) - you deserved it (7289)

On 09/23/2011 at 2:22am - love - by drastech99 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML

#17795407
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (2697)

On 09/21/2011 at 12:42pm - love - by srloin (man) - United States

Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML

#17761753
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36766) - you deserved it (4460)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:39am - misc - by thedeerman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML

#17749646
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18637) - you deserved it (8187)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Japaroni - United States

Today, after falling on my way out the door, hitting a bird with my car, and sitting in an hour and a half of traffic, I remembered I had the day off work. FML

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

#17688426
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33433) - you deserved it (8637)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

#17661363
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22756) - you deserved it (3848)

On 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm - work - by mike - United States



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