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MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15036
  • Number of comments : 1821
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>zandra2020</b> - 6 hours ago<b>NinjaDitto623</b> - yesterday at 2:08pm<b>jjcoombs22</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:31pm<b>Dumonster1697</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 8:20am<b>bagofpopkern</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:32pm<b>LiliLatte</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:02pm<b>LastQueenLyssa</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:43pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:51am<b>lexa1love</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:32am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:50pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:48am<b>Brent40321</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:55am<b>Lanker</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 8:33pm<b>KennyBound</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 7:20am<b>HaveMercyOnML</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:30pm<b>PineappleNat</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 8:34pm

Liked!<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:20pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, I was giving a presentation at work, when I said, "But we could care less about that." My boss asked if I meant, "Couldn't care less." Wanting to avoid embarrassment, I tried to think up an excuse, only to end up blurting that it was my phone's auto-correct. FML

#18512301
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6949) - you deserved it (30310)

On 12/14/2011 at 4:21pm - work - by sharon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

#18503694
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26930) - you deserved it (3530)

On 12/13/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18614) - you deserved it (17283)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML

#18438378
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27117) - you deserved it (4061)

On 12/05/2011 at 6:32pm - kids - by santashelper - United States

Today, I was fired. For "lack of attention to details", specifically spelling errors. My now ex-boss misspelled the name of his own company on my severance agreement. FML

#18403408
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24398) - you deserved it (2867)

On 12/01/2011 at 1:55pm - work - by JadeC - United States (New York)

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

#18402920
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20270) - you deserved it (5144)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Hot Pants (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27932) - you deserved it (3419)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML

#18273711
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36327) - you deserved it (3039)

On 11/17/2011 at 4:27pm - health - by OUCH. - United States

Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML

#18273711
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36327) - you deserved it (3039)

On 11/17/2011 at 4:27pm - health - by OUCH. - United States

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

#18222610
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27500) - you deserved it (2467)

On 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm - kids - by Username - United States (Maryland)

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

#18222610
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27500) - you deserved it (2467)

On 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm - kids - by Username - United States (Maryland)

Today, a month after my final bout of intimacy with the stage five clinger who's been borderline stalking me since high school, she called to tell me I'm going to be a father. FML

#18222551
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11820) - you deserved it (55448)

On 11/11/2011 at 8:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12212) - you deserved it (40440)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

#18060415
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11153) - you deserved it (39708)

On 10/24/2011 at 1:04am - love - by ShitHappens - United States



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