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MrSassypants

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

MrSassypants

23Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18767
  • Number of comments : 1946
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>Blade12337</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Demig0d6</b> - 22 hours ago<b>wasliedtoasakid</b> - 23 hours ago<b>coyotefox</b> - yesterday at 7:33am<b>CallMeBatman</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 3:01pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:04am<b>RoperDaRipper</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:59am<b>Prismo_Feeds</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:23am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:17pm<b>ThatOneLazyChick</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:17am<b>Domdom96</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 7:14am<b>Schrypt</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 3:29am<b>quickit</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:34am<b>Echoa21</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:36pm<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:27pm<b>kangx1</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:09pm<b>ohSNAPyall</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 9:19pm<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 9:13pm

Liked!<b>Blade12337</b> - 15 hours ago<b>wasliedtoasakid</b> - 17 hours ago<b>coyotefox</b> - yesterday at 1:33pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm<b>Domdom96</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:14pm<b>leviheichou</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 7:11am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 5:04am<b>Robby4800</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 12:43am<b>Hiktmae</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 12:10am<b>WadeNickerson</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 9:48pm<b>BaDumTsss</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 1:06pm<b>quickit</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:39am<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 3:38pm<b>anonykinetic</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 5:53am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Jthewat</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:19pm<b>frances1942</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:36am<b>nix1993</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:20am

MrSassypants's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26626) - you deserved it (11016)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42040) - you deserved it (3835)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42040) - you deserved it (3835)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

#19499543
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16536) - you deserved it (9126)

On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

#19484491
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25309) - you deserved it (2775)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

#19484491
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25309) - you deserved it (2775)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

#19484468
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19645) - you deserved it (21808)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by phoneless - Jordan

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

#19484170
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26939) - you deserved it (3849)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML

#19479496
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20575) - you deserved it (5231)

On 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by orangechicken (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML

#19479496
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20575) - you deserved it (5231)

On 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by orangechicken (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML

#19468154
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18221) - you deserved it (10626)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:56pm - misc - by fuckbucket14 - Egypt (Al Bahr al Ahmar)

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

#19438168
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22435) - you deserved it (2525)

On 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

#19437878
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27618) - you deserved it (2564)

On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, when I had to go pee. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped, screamed, and fell face-first into some guy. My boyfriend is now accusing me of cheating and "flirting" with every man I see. FML

#19436795
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24410) - you deserved it (3506)

On 04/09/2012 at 2:18pm - love - by missclitter - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

#19428378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23345) - you deserved it (3115)

On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)



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