Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

MrSassypants

56Liked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 22902
  • Number of comments : 2055
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>ahomelessmario</b> - 20 hours ago<b>XmasaX</b> - 22 hours ago<b>kjax</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Kilala29</b> - yesterday at 8:18am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 5:19pm<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:52pm<b>happysmile987</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 2:48pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 2:02pm<b>bigmike3000</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 11:28pm<b>sam_cat</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 6:37pm<b>captain_crook</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:22pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:16pm<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:57am<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 2:59am<b>blinked_281</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:37pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:42pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:22pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:18am

Liked!<b>XmasaX</b> - 16 hours ago<b>kjax</b> - 18 hours ago<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:52pm<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 8:59am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:42pm<b>xxNIGHTxx</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:41pm<b>nataliewby</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:10pm<b>WellFookMe</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:24am<b>Retaheki</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 12:15am<b>sNOOBie</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 10:31pm<b>frogpotatoz088</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 3:36pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 8:25pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 7:54pm<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:01am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 2:29pm<b>marythecat333</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:58pm<b>SideOfTheAngels</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 12:39am<b>xninix</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 10:56pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML

#19933310
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6007) - you deserved it (32701)

On 07/13/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by minaaaaajftw (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

#19933084
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26000) - you deserved it (2387)

On 07/13/2012 at 3:08pm - work - by fucking pissants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25601) - you deserved it (2867)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of my online midterm, my computer decided to update and closed out of the test. It can't be retaken. FML

#19927975
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34235) - you deserved it (3079)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by failure - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML

#19927965
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9247) - you deserved it (27428)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33556) - you deserved it (4211)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at work, photographing a baby boy. I grabbed a bench for him to use to hold himself upright. His mom asked if she should hold him instead, but I told her he'd be fine. Two seconds later, he fell backwards and brought the bench down on top of him. There goes my job. FML

#19923878
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9811) - you deserved it (28936)

On 07/11/2012 at 2:26pm - work - by almost jobless - United States

Today, my power finally came back on. I excitedly went and spent $100 to refill my fridge, only to come back home and discover the power is out again, and might not be back on for another three days. FML

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

#19908128
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33963) - you deserved it (1593)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

#19908128
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33963) - you deserved it (1593)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States

Today, I got a raise at work. It will bring my hourly wage to about a cent more per hour. Our CEO just reported record-breaking profits for the year. FML

#19890540
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21078) - you deserved it (1688)

On 07/04/2012 at 12:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML

#19890528
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42416) - you deserved it (2786)

On 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I asked the 7-year-old that I was babysitting if he could burp on command. He said he could, and began to demonstrate. It turns out he couldn't purposely burp, but he definitely could vomit on command. FML

#19884890
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8686) - you deserved it (25531)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:33am - kids - by ew (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

#19881978
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22474) - you deserved it (2510)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML

#19830472
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30984) - you deserved it (3872)

On 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Uncomfy (man) - United States (Colorado)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: