Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Online | Search for a member

MrSassypants

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15148
  • Number of comments : 1825
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>onlychildFTW</b> - 23 hours ago<b>psychopolarbear</b> - yesterday at 10:36pm<b>akirakuran42</b> - yesterday at 10:15pm<b>ohSNAPyall</b> - yesterday at 9:00pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - yesterday at 11:37am<b>Welshite</b> - yesterday at 11:24am<b>zandra2020</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:30pm<b>NinjaDitto623</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:08pm<b>jjcoombs22</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:31pm<b>Dumonster1697</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:33pm<b>bagofpopkern</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:32pm<b>LiliLatte</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:02pm<b>LastQueenLyssa</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:43pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:51am<b>lexa1love</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:32am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:50pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:48am<b>Brent40321</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:48pm

Liked!<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:20pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML

#18865493
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (5750)

On 01/20/2012 at 9:31pm - love - by fuckthepopo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML

#18865493
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24630) - you deserved it (5750)

On 01/20/2012 at 9:31pm - love - by fuckthepopo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know..." and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML

#18864868
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24991) - you deserved it (1888)

On 01/20/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by shellski (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I watched The Omen with my father. Halfway through driving me back home, he stopped the car and made me get out right there in a rough part of town. Fifteen minutes later, he drove up beside me, laughed hysterically at how terrified I was, and told me to get in. FML

#18864677
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25322) - you deserved it (2324)

On 01/20/2012 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

#18864460
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27342) - you deserved it (8272)

On 01/20/2012 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

#18705736
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26647) - you deserved it (2370)

On 01/04/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

#18664843
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33209) - you deserved it (2415)

On 12/31/2011 at 3:37pm - misc - by yourebeautiful - United States

Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML

#18594969
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15572) - you deserved it (38663)

On 12/24/2011 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471
275 comments

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14555) - you deserved it (36861)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

#18592801
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28519) - you deserved it (3141)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:24pm - love - by unwanted (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after having recently moved 300 miles to be with my boyfriend of 2 years, I have to celebrate Christmas alone. He never thought our relationship important enough to tell his family about me, and doesn't want it to be "awkward." FML

#18592385
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29520) - you deserved it (4470)

On 12/23/2011 at 8:32pm - love - by FML (woman) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, my family and I went over to our new neighbors' house, to sing a carol and say hello. The only response we got was a door slammed in our faces. FML

#18590219
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10809) - you deserved it (27262)

On 12/23/2011 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

#18588984
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25942) - you deserved it (4312)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

#18580798
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30477) - you deserved it (4062) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by anna - France



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: