Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Offline (the 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm) | Search for a member

MrSassypants

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13925
  • Number of comments : 1812
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:07pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:53pm<b>MrSirPerson</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:10pm<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:01am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:01am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 9:59pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 11:59am<b>ghsthnt95</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 7:10pm<b>wondercat40</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 6:11pm<b>scoobs231</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:20pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:42pm<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 8:24pm<b>Emmmmmer</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:06am<b>JulietMarie</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:02pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:29pm<b>mt631</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:58pm<b>lizardFace</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 5:13pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 10:28am

MrSassypants's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13419) - you deserved it (34718)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

#18592801
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26310) - you deserved it (2934)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:24pm - love - by unwanted (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after having recently moved 300 miles to be with my boyfriend of 2 years, I have to celebrate Christmas alone. He never thought our relationship important enough to tell his family about me, and doesn't want it to be "awkward." FML

#18592385
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26265) - you deserved it (4110)

On 12/23/2011 at 8:32pm - love - by FML (woman) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, my family and I went over to our new neighbors' house, to sing a carol and say hello. The only response we got was a door slammed in our faces. FML

#18590219
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10068) - you deserved it (25919)

On 12/23/2011 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

#18588984
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23361) - you deserved it (4026)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

#18580798
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27364) - you deserved it (3765) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by anna - France

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10037) - you deserved it (25453)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

#18547021
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17323) - you deserved it (15256)

On 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm - misc - by fmT719 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, I was giving a presentation at work, when I said, "But we could care less about that." My boss asked if I meant, "Couldn't care less." Wanting to avoid embarrassment, I tried to think up an excuse, only to end up blurting that it was my phone's auto-correct. FML

#18512301
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6088) - you deserved it (27700)

On 12/14/2011 at 4:21pm - work - by sharon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

#18503694
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24874) - you deserved it (3314)

On 12/13/2011 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14780) - you deserved it (2643)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML

#18438378
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25419) - you deserved it (3864)

On 12/05/2011 at 6:32pm - kids - by santashelper - United States

Today, I was fired. For "lack of attention to details", specifically spelling errors. My now ex-boss misspelled the name of his own company on my severance agreement. FML

#18403408
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19972) - you deserved it (2073)

On 12/01/2011 at 1:55pm - work - by JadeC - United States (New York)

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

#18402920
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16659) - you deserved it (4686)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Hot Pants (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: