MrSassypants

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Offline (the 10/23/2016 at 12:10am)

MrSassypants

239Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 38411
  • Number of comments : 2323
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>tellyc</b> - the 11/05/2016 at 10:39am<b>freePhantom</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 12:00am<b>TheMike23</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 6:38am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 4:19am<b>TigranPet</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 12:50pm<b>TonierShadow</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 5:07pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 1:23am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 10:50pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 8:42am<b>cats4lyfe</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 3:06am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 9:35pm<b>manofmerr</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 1:05pm<b>AAHHHHH</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 10:45pm<b>NightHawk4926</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 3:34pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 1:59pm<b>DeezButs67</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 6:58am<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 1:12am<b>kittikat8ball</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 9:20am

Fucked!<b>TigranPet</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 6:50pm<b>TonierShadow</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 11:07pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 7:59pm<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 6:38am<b>BoomArum</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 9:07am<b>billcosby31</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 9:10pm<b>cuz803</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 8:51pm<b>whosthedeadone</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 8:17am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 12:15pm<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 5:05am<b>seba7236</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 7:19am<b>Pikawarrior</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 12:19pm<b>airriderz15</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 9:37pm<b>toolazytotype99</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 9:04pm<b>tintarroja</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 8:17am<b>BakedBanana</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 4:44am<b>walker9879</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 4:26pm<b>Goat_E_mom</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 10:06pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

by (-__- ) ( ^.^) / 10/11/2013 at 5:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 3:09am / China (Shanghai) / Money

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2013 at 11:03am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

by UHM / 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm / United States / Love

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML

by _/ | \_ / 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm / Singapore / Health

Today, I told my coworkers that I was going on a date tonight so they would think I have a social life. One of them spotted me while I was eating alone at McDonalds. FML

by CreamGravy / 10/06/2013 at 9:54am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML

by katt_is_here / 10/06/2013 at 1:51am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

by Mike Messenger / 10/05/2013 at 9:51am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

by ricky the sage / 10/04/2013 at 8:04pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML

by iet_Wyrda / 10/04/2013 at 7:00pm / Animals

Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2013 at 1:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, a girl who's in charge of a group project that I get graded on, asked if Bill Gates was a Founding Father. She was totally serious. I'm screwed. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2013 at 1:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous