Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Online | Search for a member

MrSassypants

155Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 30317
  • Number of comments : 2196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - 52 minutes ago<b>iYamEmoRay</b> - 21 hours ago<b>apineapple</b> - yesterday at 11:30pm<b>black_day</b> - yesterday at 8:58pm<b>Neverafter</b> - yesterday at 4:55pm<b>Zak_Attack00</b> - yesterday at 1:51pm<b>stargazing</b> - yesterday at 12:21pm<b>KatieKoala</b> - yesterday at 9:50am<b>DMA0712</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 7:26am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 3:47am<b>oakcrush</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 9:10pm<b>taterrtots</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:07pm<b>krismarie524</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 7:52pm<b>Zelphoric</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:34pm<b>CatherL</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 6:51pm<b>Malfano0214</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 10:20pm<b>toenails10</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 1:42pm<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 1:31pm

Fucked!<b>xKrisSmoove</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 7:31pm<b>qsxsqsxs</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:40am<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:24pm<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:57pm<b>luridz</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:37am<b>schindler12345</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 3:50am<b>BWAHA</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:40pm<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:34pm<b>leafynitemare</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 11:24am<b>JessiPark</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 1:52am<b>MissEris</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:28pm<b>bobby0000000</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 2:00am<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 9:31am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 4:10am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:37pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 7:13am<b>AnonymousBella</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:40am<b>chuchusheep</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:08pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend called me and said she needs to take a break from our relationship. Why? Her really clingy ex is really depressed about her dating someone else and he isn't ready to accept it. So she wants to take a break "for his sake" until he's over her. FML

#21447496
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25269) - you deserved it (2147)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to go on a date with me tomorrow. His reaction was to pick up a banana and pretend that he was in the middle of a phone call. FML

#21447183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22870) - you deserved it (2414)

On 07/25/2015 at 8:22pm - love - by Lucachoo - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with my neighbor. He asked me if I wanted to play Twister, and I said no because I thought it would be weird. What was his response? "C'mon. You can leave if it gets sexual". FML

Today, the AC broke at work. I work in a hotel and every single guest asked me if I knew how hot it was in the lobby. It was 96 degrees for 7 hours. I definitely knew. FML

Today, I received a text with my last name spelled wrong. A short conversation revealed he got my number from me, through Tinder. I don't have an account, but he insisted he knew that I like it 'hard and rough'. He knew my first name. I still don't know how he got my phone number or name. FML

#21444252
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25634) - you deserved it (1939)

On 07/19/2015 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by creepedout (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

#21443824
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21932) - you deserved it (3564)

On 07/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

#21443788
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24692) - you deserved it (2855)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

#21443162
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26488) - you deserved it (3212)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm - misc - by AK-47 (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, it's got to the point where my parents have to force me to plan social outings. FML

#21442703
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21987) - you deserved it (5248)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:47pm - misc - by TheDarth (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32554) - you deserved it (4584)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

#21442630
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24330) - you deserved it (4293)

On 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm - misc - by Boneo and Juliet - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

#21440033
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (2680)

On 07/11/2015 at 1:20pm - misc - by whymomwhy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, instead of canceling for the third consecutive time due to work-related reasons, my boyfriend sent his twin brother on our date. They both thought I wouldn't notice. FML

#21438625
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26946) - you deserved it (1865)

On 07/08/2015 at 4:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend got pulled over. The cops searched the car and found a bong among the stuff we were moving to her new house. When they confronted her with it, she told them it must be mine and that she'd never seen it before. FML

#21438009
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27123) - you deserved it (2567)

On 07/07/2015 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend freaked out at me because he found a couple of orange hairs in my bed and he knows my ex is a redhead. He also knows I have two orange cats. FML

#21437983
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25739) - you deserved it (2253)

On 07/07/2015 at 2:19pm - love - by innocent cat lady - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: