MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

217Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 34340
  • Number of comments : 2310
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>samsterling</b> - 10 hours ago<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 2:28pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 10:32pm<b>NostalgiaFreak9</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 1:27pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 4:37pm<b>Tymaster5</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 4:59pm<b>ima_rock</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 1:25am<b>burgermike92</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 12:03am<b>u_mad_bro</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 6:13pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 4:39pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 3:16am<b>andrmac</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 10:58am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 1:32am<b>Hazel515</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 12:42am<b>dizzyable</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 8:01am<b>eski2015</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 1:33pm<b>crharding</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 5:11am<b>EvilPandaxD</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 4:08am

Fucked!<b>ima_rock</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 7:25am<b>eski2015</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 3:47am<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 3:21pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 11:26pm<b>kitkatjoy_96</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 4:16am<b>BrainEaters</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 7:48am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:46am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 5:02pm<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:50am<b>turtles_yup</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:15pm<b>TheMike23</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:27pm<b>MrGodface</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:57am<b>AwesomeRPGDigo</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:51pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:29pm<b>marvelvsdc</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 5:31am<b>DeishaW</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 6:58am<b>hersheykisses511</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:49am<b>samsterling</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 5:11pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally overcame depression-induced writer's block. I was typing at a good speed and before I knew it had over a thousand words that I was reasonably proud of. Then I woke up. FML

by blackonblight / 11/11/2015 at 6:23am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I fractured my shinbone after slipping on a leaf. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2015 at 6:03am / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, a notification from Tinder popped up on my girlfriend's phone, 'Congratulations, you have a new match'. FML

by anon / 11/10/2015 at 10:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

by EnderHorse / 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I went through an entire roll of toilet paper in just over an hour. You win this time, questionable pork souvlaki. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2015 at 7:46pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, while I was cutting myself some watermelon, my mom walked in. I could tell she hadn't taken her medication in a while because she freaked out, grabbed the knife, and burst into tears before yelling at me, saying I could have cut myself and bled out. FML

by need my own place / 10/24/2015 at 7:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband broke his toe after tripping over a dog toy. Instead of telling the doctors what happened, he said it was "sex related". I had to sit there, beet red with embarrassment, getting weird looks while he giggled to himself. FML

by kinkyapparently / 10/22/2015 at 10:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry Potter porn in the living room. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2015 at 8:12am / Philippines (Quezon City) / Intimacy

Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2015 at 12:20am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML

by Bad Mother / 10/08/2015 at 7:53am / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Animals

Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML

by -_- / 10/07/2015 at 7:29am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I opened a window that had been shut for a couple of months. As soon as I did, dozens of tiny baby spiders blew in with the breeze, and dispersed in my kitchen. FML

by spiderbaby / 10/06/2015 at 3:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

by ouch / 10/05/2015 at 3:20pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his parents' house when things started getting hot. Out of respect, we stopped and just cuddled, making us able to hear his parents banging. FML

by ph2222 / 10/05/2015 at 1:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up in the elevator of my apartment building in the middle of the night, without my keys, phone, or shoes. Turns out I have been sleepwalking. FML

by YumeWolf / 10/03/2015 at 7:01pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.