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MrSassypants

Offline (36 minutes ago) | Search for a member

MrSassypants

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14418
  • Number of comments : 1816
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>tmd4L</b> - 8 hours ago<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:34pm<b>GoodGuyForSure</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:41am<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:26pm<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 7:41pm<b>dangson321</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 1:36pm<b>Tuffmuffin</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:40am<b>bubblesBVB61113</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 4:31am<b>ManateeRex</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:45pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 1:46pm<b>facebag</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 1:27pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 11:27am<b>Jade24</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 7:15pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 6:53am<b>Noremac42</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 5:59am<b>emmachristine</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 9:47am<b>Metagrim</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 8:35pm<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:08pm

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MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my son sprayed our white couch with Febreze. This would have been great, were the "Febreze" not actually black spray paint. FML

#18969036
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25089) - you deserved it (3497)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:35pm - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30806) - you deserved it (4966)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML

#18954883
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20079) - you deserved it (3630)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:20pm - work - by robert (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

#18954605
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (9170)

On 01/30/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by upupandaway (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

#18943699
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22427) - you deserved it (5092)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

#18935378
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20487) - you deserved it (4258)

On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after having finally summoned the nerve to report a guy at my workplace who has been sexually harassing me for months, I got a phone call from my boss. He said that there was nothing he could do about it, because the guy "wouldn't confess." FML

#18929517
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26299) - you deserved it (2204)

On 01/27/2012 at 10:41pm - work - by jaycee (woman) - United States

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

#18929275
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6587) - you deserved it (50391)

On 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by smith (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I found out that the daily "vitamins" that my dad has been giving me for the last three months were actually weight loss pills. FML

#18876628
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28299) - you deserved it (6452)

On 01/22/2012 at 1:10am - health - by suckstobefat - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML

#18865493
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24597) - you deserved it (5747)

On 01/20/2012 at 9:31pm - love - by fuckthepopo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML

#18865493
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24597) - you deserved it (5747)

On 01/20/2012 at 9:31pm - love - by fuckthepopo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know..." and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML

#18864868
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24950) - you deserved it (1888)

On 01/20/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by shellski (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I watched The Omen with my father. Halfway through driving me back home, he stopped the car and made me get out right there in a rough part of town. Fifteen minutes later, he drove up beside me, laughed hysterically at how terrified I was, and told me to get in. FML

#18864677
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25292) - you deserved it (2321)

On 01/20/2012 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

#18864460
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27313) - you deserved it (8267)

On 01/20/2012 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

#18705736
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26619) - you deserved it (2370)

On 01/04/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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