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MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

11Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17450
  • Number of comments : 1912
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>hard_candy</b> - 3 hours ago<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - 3 hours ago<b>SPINTU</b> - 3 hours ago<b>decimater</b> - 4 hours ago<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - 4 hours ago<b>mif</b> - 5 hours ago<b>sanuxo_</b> - 7 hours ago<b>RandomUsername88</b> - 17 hours ago<b>meli1195</b> - 20 hours ago<b>imsoeffingbored</b> - 21 hours ago<b>Codecodex2</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Noah197099</b> - 22 hours ago<b>anonykinetic</b> - yesterday at 3:55pm<b>stephenseiber1</b> - yesterday at 10:11pm<b>missblove</b> - yesterday at 7:20pm<b>DenverTyrrell</b> - yesterday at 6:11pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:44am<b>vintagebubble</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 10:41pm

Liked!<b>sanuxo_</b> - one hour ago<b>anonykinetic</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 5:53am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Jthewat</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:19pm<b>frances1942</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:36am<b>nix1993</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:20am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 5:28am<b>Prismo_Feeds</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:48am<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:49pm<b>jhill5472</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:25pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:20pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

#19438168
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22412) - you deserved it (2524)

On 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

#19437878
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (2560)

On 04/09/2012 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Madeline Lee (woman) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, when I had to go pee. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped, screamed, and fell face-first into some guy. My boyfriend is now accusing me of cheating and "flirting" with every man I see. FML

#19436795
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24372) - you deserved it (3505)

On 04/09/2012 at 2:18pm - love - by missclitter - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

#19428378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23314) - you deserved it (3115)

On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML

#19424336
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6914) - you deserved it (46994)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I cleaned my computer screen for the first time in ages. When I turned it on a few hours later, I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to figure out why the brightness was suddenly so painfully high. FML

#19424189
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5764) - you deserved it (23025)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:12pm - misc - by strokingitasitype (man) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML

#19418813
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8762) - you deserved it (33259)

On 04/06/2012 at 5:04pm - love - by Sash (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML

#19417641
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22163) - you deserved it (5722)

On 04/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by nobrows (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

#19411033
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20925) - you deserved it (11962)

On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20433) - you deserved it (2914)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

#19400848
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7232) - you deserved it (25132)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)

Today, I was kicked out of my review lecture at community college, for "being a disturbance and refusing to stop whistling." I wasn't even given a chance to explain that I have a cold. FML

#19382867
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20363) - you deserved it (2065)

On 03/31/2012 at 2:53pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to explain to my 23-year-old boyfriend the difference between "your" and "you're". I do this every other day, but it's like his head is permanently stuck in the first grade. FML

Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML

#19382117
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17937) - you deserved it (1993)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:17pm - health - by freakofnature (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML

#19376586
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22817) - you deserved it (4590)

On 03/30/2012 at 2:44pm - kids - by James (man) - United States



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