Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

MrSassypants

122Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 27402
  • Number of comments : 2094
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - 20 hours ago<b>BestOrginalName</b> - yesterday at 7:08am<b>TheGolfGTI</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:37am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 7:53pm<b>Defalt</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:46pm<b>Paco_el_Taco</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:16pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 3:56pm<b>nino4</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 7:57am<b>LordTickledicks</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 6:07pm<b>Kibblesnbitsss</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 2:36pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 1:48pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:26am<b>SteelCalliope</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:20am<b>irisr</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:10am<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 8:33am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:00pm<b>StrangeNigga</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 3:35am<b>Deluxe_1</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:54pm

Fucked!<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:57pm<b>Defalt</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:00pm<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 2:33pm<b>StrangeNigga</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:03am<b>ismedrage</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:48am<b>Starburrito</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 1:41pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:49am<b>Skyzeri</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 2:13am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 3:13pm<b>imunoz903</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:36am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:12pm<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 3:50pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 2:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:08pm<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:02pm<b>quinzxl</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:17am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:54am<b>salpyy</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:31am

MrSassypants's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML

#20162604
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23292) - you deserved it (1578) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/13/2012 at 4:23pm - work - by makiju - Sent from mobile version

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25763) - you deserved it (3793)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39086) - you deserved it (2724)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML

#20159285
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (10382)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26925) - you deserved it (1942)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, it was my birthday. I finally got the PS3 I've been asking for, for a long time. When I opened the box, I didn't find a PS3, but a bunch of clothes that my mom put in my brother's PS3 box. FML

#20157168
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25583) - you deserved it (3872)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:02am - misc - by Shauna (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed my husband was acting moody, and I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he didn't know, so trying to lighten the mood, I facetiously said, "It's 'cause you're stuck with me, isn't it?" He nodded, trundled off, and hasn't shown his face since. FML

#20156759
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22936) - you deserved it (4005)

On 11/09/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23753) - you deserved it (3037)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21332) - you deserved it (2793)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, we found out that the beloved "Uncle Jimmy" from my early childhood was really the man my mother was cheating on my dad with. FML

#20156411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25456) - you deserved it (1450)

On 11/09/2012 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Gisborne)

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

#20155172
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20873) - you deserved it (2225)

On 11/08/2012 at 4:22pm - misc - by Anonimo (woman) - Italy (Sardegna)

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

#20144316
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22248) - you deserved it (5345)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:35pm - love - by lilithfaye (woman) - United States

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

#20141617
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22937) - you deserved it (1700)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20491) - you deserved it (3210)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

#20136629
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19231) - you deserved it (3829)

On 10/28/2012 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: