About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.
Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 22 years old. I am 16. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27312) - you deserved it (6343)
On 06/26/2011 at 5:17pm - love - by luni - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7784) - you deserved it (16809)
On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)
Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11043) - you deserved it (34556)
On 06/26/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11043) - you deserved it (34556)
On 06/26/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38071) - you deserved it (7786)
On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my mom insisted on putting sunscreen on me. I closed my eyes and shut my mouth while she rubbed some on my face. Halfway through, I burped. I opened my mouth just in time to get a large glob of sunscreen in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12192) - you deserved it (23590)
On 06/25/2011 at 3:58pm - health - by Unberable (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, the man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21857) - you deserved it (3178)
On 06/25/2011 at 3:41pm - animals - by kk (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25537) - you deserved it (3691)
On 06/25/2011 at 10:21am - misc - by woahheylex - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14090) - you deserved it (46347)
On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my mother won't give me any painkillers for my migraine. She believes that "When medicine goes into your stomach, the acids stop the medicine from working" and that "It's all in people's heads when medicine works". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25124) - you deserved it (2044)
On 06/25/2011 at 8:58am - health - by Live02Dance - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22353) - you deserved it (3152)
On 06/24/2011 at 6:11pm - kids - by Username - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22353) - you deserved it (3152)
On 06/24/2011 at 6:11pm - kids - by Username - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22353) - you deserved it (3152)
On 06/24/2011 at 6:11pm - kids - by Username - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22353) - you deserved it (3152)
On 06/24/2011 at 6:11pm - kids - by Username - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20613) - you deserved it (5217)
On 06/24/2011 at 5:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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