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MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

11Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17809
  • Number of comments : 1917
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 12:16pm<b>anonykinetic</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 5:02am<b>blubje</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:34am<b>dubb420</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 10:36pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 10:20pm<b>failedgamer01</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 8:13pm<b>KwtWaffles</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:41pm<b>BowChikaFuckYou</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:13am<b>Schrypt</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:07am<b>Connerm</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 10:28pm<b>badoo</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:40pm<b>mkayden</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:50pm<b>Blade12337</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 10:44am<b>moophasa</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 12:17am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 8:50pm<b>kittykat8770</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:48pm<b>LittleBuddy1</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:39pm<b>feven</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 4:45pm

Liked!<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 3:38pm<b>anonykinetic</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 5:53am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Jthewat</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:19pm<b>frances1942</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:36am<b>nix1993</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:20am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 5:28am<b>Prismo_Feeds</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:48am<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:49pm<b>jhill5472</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:25pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:20pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

#21285558
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37586) - you deserved it (7583)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:25am - intimacy - by soisblueballsdickhead (woman) - United States

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

#21285546
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33220) - you deserved it (4519)

On 10/26/2014 at 9:54am - kids - by Bob H. (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I'm so out of shape, I started wheezing on my way to check my mailbox. Not my physical mailbox, either; my email inbox on the phone I'd left on the table at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21285495
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22289) - you deserved it (21121)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at work and a lady screamed at my manager for about 15 minutes, saying I needed to be fired because I couldn't get rid of all the flies buzzing around her food. She was the one who chose to eat on our patio. FML

#21285397
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30817) - you deserved it (2034)

On 10/26/2014 at 1:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was laying in bed in my dark room, with only my phone's light on, a huge moth flew around it and directly into my open mouth. FML

#21285341
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (4721)

On 10/25/2014 at 11:47pm - misc - by j_portal - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I met my neighbors for the first time, as they helped me carry my dead cat off the road. FML

#21284997
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31311) - you deserved it (2610)

On 10/25/2014 at 1:32pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out what it's like to drive seven hours home with a woman who just brutally rejected your marriage proposal. FML

#21284911
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41245) - you deserved it (3185)

On 10/25/2014 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mom called and casually let me know she'd wrecked my iPad after putting it in the dryer with my bed sheets. FML

#21284691
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30476) - you deserved it (3909)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35869) - you deserved it (2897)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36401) - you deserved it (10604)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35747) - you deserved it (2916)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34960) - you deserved it (4117)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML

#21283412
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32155) - you deserved it (3440)

On 10/22/2014 at 9:33pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41131) - you deserved it (5015)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32192) - you deserved it (3357)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)



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