Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Online | Search for a member

MrSassypants

42Liked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 21144
  • Number of comments : 2026
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>DoomSkuller</b> - 10 hours ago<b>XOLucy_21XO</b> - 10 hours ago<b>bwebb17</b> - 20 hours ago<b>ifunnyftw</b> - 23 hours ago<b>sandrisima</b> - 23 hours ago<b>aliciarnold</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 9:30am<b>marythecat333</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 8:46am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 8:27am<b>JuliaaNoelle</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 1:42am<b>1slayerpikmin1</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 10:45pm<b>Odstin</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 6:35pm<b>coltonte3</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 6:22pm<b>HyunnK</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 3:53pm<b>Mr_Anonymous_13</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 1:17pm<b>Miizuo</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:13am<b>fire_flies</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 9:20am<b>tantanpanda</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 1:58am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 1:49am

Liked!<b>Baustigt</b> - yesterday at 2:29pm<b>marythecat333</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:58pm<b>SideOfTheAngels</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 12:39am<b>xninix</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 10:56pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 10:06am<b>Firegirl741</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:12am<b>HyunnK</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 12:40am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:02pm<b>LovelessAlex</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:15pm<b>nothemother</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 5:12pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 10:32am<b>ErithianForce</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 4:28am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:41am<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 11:32pm<b>SEROKE</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 11:08am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 8:22am<b>Floortje</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:14am<b>Fiorella1</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 8:51am

MrSassypants's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

#21331973
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25594) - you deserved it (3997)

On 01/06/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

#21331929
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30209) - you deserved it (2184)

On 01/06/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by rimenrezon (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally got a restraining order against my violent ex. My mom now keeps finding ways to tell me how shitty I am for breaking the "poor boy's" heart and how I didn't deserve him anyway. FML

#21331330
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33738) - you deserved it (2312)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:52pm - misc - by help (woman) - Malta

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (11228)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

 Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML

#21327895
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26647) - you deserved it (2552)

On 12/31/2014 at 3:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML

#21327860
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31485) - you deserved it (2975)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:39pm - love - by cakestar9 (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23345) - you deserved it (42319)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, at the airport, a lady bitched me out for changing her departure gate. She called me incompetent and accused me of "messing with people's lives" by "making them walk." I didn't change the gate, and the other gate was less than 10 feet away. FML

#21325932
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30696) - you deserved it (2056)

On 12/28/2014 at 3:12pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

#21325643
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31091) - you deserved it (2877)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)

Today, a friend invited me to christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there she told me her and her husband forgot they had another dinner to go to and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML

#21324456
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34791) - you deserved it (2552)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I accidentally texted my mother instead of my drug dealer. FML

#21324443
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16742) - you deserved it (47654)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

#21323615
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29109) - you deserved it (2585)

On 12/24/2014 at 10:48pm - money - by evil Santa - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up while staying at my friend's house. I saw the bathroom light on, so for a laugh, I got up and quietly pennied the door. After laughing at him struggling to open the door, I decided to let him out. Turned out it wasn't my friend in there; it was his dad. FML



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: