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MrSassypants

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MrSassypants
  • Town/Country : North Laurderdale, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11182
  • Number of comments : 1801
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 17. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

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MrSassypants's FML badges

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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

#20999827
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43675) - you deserved it (3458)

On 12/21/2013 at 1:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

#20998520
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32806) - you deserved it (5135)

On 12/19/2013 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a guy in the street drawing caricatures, and I decided to pay him to do one of me. Being a caricature, I looked pretty monstrous in it. When I showed it to my mum later, she shuddered and said, "Yeah, looks just like you." FML

#20998272
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31554) - you deserved it (3379)

On 12/19/2013 at 5:13pm - misc - by ;_; (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out the money my husband's been funneling from our bank account wasn't for drugs or gifts for another girl like I thought. It was for a guy he stupidly believed was a foreign diplomat, who supposedly needed to bribe officials in order to send us several million dollars. FML

#20997988
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35593) - you deserved it (3069)

On 12/19/2013 at 12:20pm - money - by you fucking idiot (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I managed to infect a clean computer with a virus while looking up info on how to rid my other computer of the same virus. FML

#20992711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34143) - you deserved it (6895)

On 12/14/2013 at 8:49pm - misc - by me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45670) - you deserved it (3914)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found on Facebook that my best friend of 10 years is getting married next week. I'm guessing my invite got lost in the mail. FML

#20976772
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41913) - you deserved it (2914)

On 12/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by JD - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

#20976567
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39779) - you deserved it (3437)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44638) - you deserved it (3660)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I helped a nice middle-aged lady pick out a sweater. She then opened her changing room door to ask for my opinion. I still don't understand why she had to take everything else off to try on a sweater. FML

#20968575
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43081) - you deserved it (3234)

On 11/24/2013 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42832) - you deserved it (5066)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

#20967242
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41661) - you deserved it (4212)

On 11/22/2013 at 8:08pm - love - by quit fucking up my life (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

#20967061
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37811) - you deserved it (2410)

On 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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