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MrSassypants

Offline (the 07/24/2014 at 3:58am) | Search for a member

MrSassypants

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14106
  • Number of comments : 1813
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 10:34am<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:08pm<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:07pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:53pm<b>MrSirPerson</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:10pm<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:01am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:01am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 9:59pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 11:59am<b>ghsthnt95</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 7:10pm<b>wondercat40</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 6:11pm<b>scoobs231</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:20pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:42pm<b>HylianTwilight</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 8:24pm<b>Emmmmmer</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:06am<b>JulietMarie</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:02pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:29pm<b>mt631</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:58pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

#20527906
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31896) - you deserved it (3214)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:14am - misc - by melyeah - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML

#20527693
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33490) - you deserved it (3563)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML

#20527672
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31032) - you deserved it (5131)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:05am - love - by bummer.. (woman) - United States

Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML

#20523139
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32761) - you deserved it (7204)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm - love - by pooh anne (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

#20521590
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44503) - you deserved it (7266)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

#20518187
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26850) - you deserved it (4469) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML

#20517994
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12053) - you deserved it (46497)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6890) - you deserved it (45243)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML

#20515292
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29459) - you deserved it (2285)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm - misc - by blob - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbor has a cat. I was blessed with this knowledge when she threw several piles of used kitty litter and cat poop over her balcony and onto my patio. FML

#20509867
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25794) - you deserved it (1834)

On 02/16/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

#20506765
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34069) - you deserved it (2117)

On 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

#20498469
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26283) - you deserved it (2828)

On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21302) - you deserved it (8339)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23102) - you deserved it (3204)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

#20473074
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29092) - you deserved it (2881)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm - work - by me - United States (Massachusetts)



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