About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.
Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 22 years old. I am 16. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16453) - you deserved it (3107)
On 06/07/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by C0r1nn3 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21760) - you deserved it (4690)
On 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by dating a manchild (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18248) - you deserved it (2624)
On 06/01/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by kay (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24611) - you deserved it (1038)
On 06/01/2012 at 5:05pm - health - by Briscuit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, it was my last day at school before I graduate next week. Ten minutes into lunch break, I was brutally nailed in the neck by a football. Now, not only do I look like I was given a hickey by the Jolly Green Giant himself, I have to wear a neck brace at my graduation ceremony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18409) - you deserved it (1147)
On 06/01/2012 at 2:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was admitted to hospital for suspected kidney failure. I called my best friend to let her know I couldn't make it to her birthday party tonight. She seemed to be infinitely more upset that I wouldn't be able to give her a birthday present. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15842) - you deserved it (1179)
On 06/01/2012 at 1:58pm - health - by Ashe (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13436) - you deserved it (1270)
On 05/31/2012 at 6:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17175) - you deserved it (1531)
On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5472) - you deserved it (15497)
On 05/25/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by MySummerinEurope (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)
Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10493) - you deserved it (1971)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by KieRendan (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3631) - you deserved it (22925)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by stupidity (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)
Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5756) - you deserved it (15512)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:07am - work - by emliv12 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15605) - you deserved it (936)
On 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by Byebye - Netherlands (Groningen)
Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15605) - you deserved it (936)
On 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by Byebye - Netherlands (Groningen)
Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14531) - you deserved it (3438)
On 05/24/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Monday 17 June 2013
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