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MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14591
  • Number of comments : 1818
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>Brent40321</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:55am<b>Lanker</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 8:33pm<b>KennyBound</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 7:20am<b>HaveMercyOnML</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 10:30pm<b>PineappleNat</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 8:34pm<b>Paris25</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 4:25am<b>tmd4L</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:14pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:34pm<b>GoodGuyForSure</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:41am<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 9:26pm<b>Soviet_American</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 7:41pm<b>dangson321</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 1:36pm<b>Tuffmuffin</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:40am<b>bubblesBVB61113</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 4:31am<b>ManateeRex</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:45pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 1:46pm<b>facebag</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 1:27pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

#20557646
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31125) - you deserved it (12719)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

#20554757
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30393) - you deserved it (3065)

On 03/22/2013 at 6:49am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48990) - you deserved it (11614)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML

#20552543
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14237) - you deserved it (30397)

On 03/20/2013 at 6:08pm - kids - by tspence - United States (Ohio)

Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML

#20546221
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36559) - you deserved it (7405)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML

#20546113
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25946) - you deserved it (2134)

On 03/16/2013 at 1:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

#20545866
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36958) - you deserved it (3556)

On 03/16/2013 at 8:17am - misc - by nomorecleaning (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

#20545430
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15925) - you deserved it (57665) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43486) - you deserved it (5358)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML

#20545151
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32412) - you deserved it (2889)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm - love - by forever single, I guess (man) - United States

Today, I was at the library doing research for my midterm. All of the computers were in use, so I decided to use my laptop instead. Ten minutes later, I was confronted and kicked out. My offense? Unauthorized use of the library's so-called "Free Public WiFi". FML

#20540861
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34628) - you deserved it (2773)

On 03/12/2013 at 3:03pm - misc - by PhailedMidterm (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally got the courage to confess my feelings to the guy I have loved for a year now in a long note. He called half an hour later and said, "I'm not going to read this crap, just tell me what it says". FML

#20535268
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31423) - you deserved it (7280)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:53pm - love - by hoolabaloo (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, in my architecture class, my professor's lecture consisted of a list of movies and books which feature characters who are architects. I couldn't leave because I needed the attendance points, and it lasted 45 minutes. I paid out of state tuition for this. FML

#20535215
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22524) - you deserved it (3595)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:18pm - misc - by seriously wtf (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

#20535134
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36801) - you deserved it (2156)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML



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