About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.
Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 22 years old. I am 16. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33470) - you deserved it (1934)
On 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, I asked the 7-year-old that I was babysitting if he could burp on command. He said he could, and began to demonstrate. It turns out he couldn't purposely burp, but he definitely could vomit on command. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5849) - you deserved it (16262)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:33am - kids - by ew (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16304) - you deserved it (1735)
On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)
Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25054) - you deserved it (3274)
On 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Uncomfy (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (2963)
On 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29623) - you deserved it (2884)
Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21682) - you deserved it (1591)
On 06/14/2012 at 3:34pm - health - by ultraattitude - United States
Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14811) - you deserved it (1461)
On 06/13/2012 at 4:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands
Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14811) - you deserved it (1461)
On 06/13/2012 at 4:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands
Today, I went to a concert. One of my favorite bands was performing, and I'd had the ticket for seven months, with a great seat for the show. It was all going perfectly, that is until a guy twice my height sat in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16813) - you deserved it (1212)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19162) - you deserved it (1842)
On 06/10/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by eddie818 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10438) - you deserved it (6818)
On 06/10/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by yeyt209 - United States (North Dakota)
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13880) - you deserved it (43759)
On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7233) - you deserved it (20387)
On 06/09/2012 at 5:15pm - misc - by cock sauce (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18718) - you deserved it (1896)
On 06/08/2012 at 10:00am - misc - by me - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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