Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

MrSassypants

122Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 27354
  • Number of comments : 2094
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>BestOrginalName</b> - 24 hours ago<b>TheGolfGTI</b> - yesterday at 1:37am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 7:53pm<b>Defalt</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:46pm<b>Paco_el_Taco</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:16pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 3:56pm<b>nino4</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 7:57am<b>LordTickledicks</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 6:07pm<b>Kibblesnbitsss</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 2:36pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 1:48pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:26am<b>SteelCalliope</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:20am<b>irisr</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 10:10am<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 8:33am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:00pm<b>StrangeNigga</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 3:35am<b>Deluxe_1</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 7:54pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:38pm

Fucked!<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 9:57pm<b>Defalt</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:00pm<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 2:33pm<b>StrangeNigga</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 6:03am<b>ismedrage</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:48am<b>Starburrito</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 1:41pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 10:49am<b>Skyzeri</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 2:13am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 3:13pm<b>imunoz903</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:36am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:12pm<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 3:50pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 2:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:08pm<b>TheNiceOne</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 1:02pm<b>quinzxl</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:17am<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:54am<b>salpyy</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:31am

MrSassypants's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I showed up to work and my boss was nowhere to be found. A phone call later, I find out he's in Dubai. Oh, and since I'm his personal assistant, I should be able to take care of matters until he gets back. I've only been his assistant for a week. FML

#21281510
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32835) - you deserved it (2458)

On 10/20/2014 at 12:53am - work - by are you kidding me - United States (Kansas)

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32272) - you deserved it (4402)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38874) - you deserved it (7352)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

#21276741
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36563) - you deserved it (3618)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:13am - animals - by MissBeyoncé - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years, who can't get it up for me and has been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently has no problem getting it up while watching the neighbor undress from our window. FML

#21276105
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39040) - you deserved it (4230)

On 10/12/2014 at 9:21am - intimacy - by MotherMary - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to my grandma's yard sale, only to find my baby pictures being sold for 25 cents each. FML

#21275511
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40547) - you deserved it (3242)

On 10/11/2014 at 10:43am - misc - by Forge (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35743) - you deserved it (21617)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got roped into a volunteering thing at the last minute. I was waiting outside with all these kids who looked hungry. Feeling bad, I passed around crisps and cookies. Turns out we were at a convention to promote healthy eating in malnourished children. FML

#21274410
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28948) - you deserved it (4954)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

#21274403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29722) - you deserved it (3185)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend admitted than he's been using Febreze instead of showering for the past month. FML

Today, my laziness reached a whole new level when I caught myself skipping the longer FML stories to read the shorter ones. FML

#21272079
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30955) - you deserved it (12555)

On 10/06/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by eh - Azerbaijan (Baki)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: