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MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

11Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17518
  • Number of comments : 1912
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>Blade12337</b> - 4 hours ago<b>moophasa</b> - 15 hours ago<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - 18 hours ago<b>kittykat8770</b> - 19 hours ago<b>LittleBuddy1</b> - 21 hours ago<b>feven</b> - 22 hours ago<b>hard_candy</b> - yesterday at 2:20pm<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - yesterday at 2:16pm<b>SPINTU</b> - yesterday at 2:02pm<b>decimater</b> - yesterday at 1:17pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - yesterday at 1:01pm<b>mif</b> - yesterday at 12:05pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - yesterday at 9:38am<b>RandomUsername88</b> - yesterday at 11:27pm<b>meli1195</b> - yesterday at 9:23pm<b>imsoeffingbored</b> - yesterday at 7:30pm<b>Codecodex2</b> - yesterday at 6:57pm<b>Noah197099</b> - yesterday at 6:51pm

Liked!<b>sanuxo_</b> - 23 hours ago<b>anonykinetic</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 5:53am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Jthewat</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:19pm<b>frances1942</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:36am<b>nix1993</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:20am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 5:28am<b>Prismo_Feeds</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:48am<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:49pm<b>jhill5472</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:25pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:20pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61324) - you deserved it (25737)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a girl who's in charge of a group project that I get graded on, asked if Bill Gates was a Founding Father. She was totally serious. I'm screwed. FML

#20900504
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38245) - you deserved it (2468)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we got my dad an iPad for his birthday. I had to repeatedly reassure him that he could in fact touch the screen without being shocked. FML

#20899491
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36612) - you deserved it (3533)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

#20899473
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40146) - you deserved it (2535)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was let down for a movie date. As I'd already paid for the tickets, I got my narcoleptic sister to come and sit next to me while she slept, so it didn't look like I came on my own. FML

#20895886
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31782) - you deserved it (2998)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:12pm - love - by cinemasaddo (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

#20892490
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51015) - you deserved it (7260)

On 09/23/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by baddad (man) - United States

Today, my boss made me play golf with some executives of a company we're hoping to secure a business deal with, despite me having no golf training. My first swing ended up with me being rushed to the hospital. FML

#20891836
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36785) - you deserved it (4398)

On 09/22/2013 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML

#20891806
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37569) - you deserved it (4035)

On 09/22/2013 at 5:21pm - kids - by soannoyed - United States

Today, I offered to help out at my grandpa's farm, and he had me load buckets of water into his trunk. When he came by and saw me struggling to lift a bucket, he sneered, called me a moron for filling it up before putting it in the truck, and told me to just go home. FML

#20889129
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32498) - you deserved it (10847)

On 09/20/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by fuckwank (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

#20888238
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44903) - you deserved it (12453)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm - work - by Jamie - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

#20883830
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47772) - you deserved it (7528)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:08pm - love - by Jake - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML

#20881965
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43360) - you deserved it (3997)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38862) - you deserved it (2583)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

#20881137
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54388) - you deserved it (4572)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML

#20880890
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39223) - you deserved it (3105)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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