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MrSassypants

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

MrSassypants

23Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18746
  • Number of comments : 1946
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>Blade12337</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Demig0d6</b> - 17 hours ago<b>wasliedtoasakid</b> - 18 hours ago<b>coyotefox</b> - yesterday at 7:33am<b>CallMeBatman</b> - yesterday at 3:01pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:04am<b>RoperDaRipper</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:59am<b>Prismo_Feeds</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 12:23am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:17pm<b>ThatOneLazyChick</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 10:17am<b>Domdom96</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 7:14am<b>Schrypt</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 3:29am<b>quickit</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:34am<b>Echoa21</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:36pm<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:27pm<b>kangx1</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:09pm<b>ohSNAPyall</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 9:19pm<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 9:13pm

Liked!<b>Blade12337</b> - 10 hours ago<b>wasliedtoasakid</b> - 12 hours ago<b>coyotefox</b> - 22 hours ago<b>patrickalamo</b> - yesterday at 4:04pm<b>Domdom96</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:14pm<b>leviheichou</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 7:11am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 5:04am<b>Robby4800</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 12:43am<b>Hiktmae</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 12:10am<b>WadeNickerson</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 9:48pm<b>BaDumTsss</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 1:06pm<b>quickit</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:39am<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 3:38pm<b>anonykinetic</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 5:53am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Jthewat</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:19pm<b>frances1942</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:36am<b>nix1993</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:20am

MrSassypants's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

#20967242
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43779) - you deserved it (4438)

On 11/22/2013 at 8:08pm - love - by quit fucking up my life (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

#20967061
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40097) - you deserved it (2799)

On 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

#20963305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45523) - you deserved it (2978)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm - health - by elle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48327) - you deserved it (8047)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my boss declared total bankruptcy of the company and I lost my job. The good news is my coworkers and I all received McDonald's 10%-off coupons. They expired in 2003. FML

#20963285
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44247) - you deserved it (2636)

On 11/19/2013 at 11:50am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he thought he heard another guy in the room when he called me, and that I'm cheating on him. The guy he heard was a character from a cartoon my sister was watching. FML

#20958917
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40205) - you deserved it (3094)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending 1 year sober. FML

#20951207
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45192) - you deserved it (3219)

On 11/09/2013 at 8:20am - misc - by Falling off the wagon - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44342) - you deserved it (3344)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

#20950354
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41732) - you deserved it (17548)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50980) - you deserved it (5281)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53440) - you deserved it (7795)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45852) - you deserved it (5239)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML

#20941414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34539) - you deserved it (2817)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:38pm - misc - by FUCK ME, MAKE IT STOP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

#20937007
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44067) - you deserved it (2926)

On 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Greg (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

#20935582
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44285) - you deserved it (4971)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)



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