Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Online | Search for a member

MrSassypants

11Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17785
  • Number of comments : 1917
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 12:16pm<b>anonykinetic</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 5:02am<b>blubje</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:34am<b>dubb420</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 10:36pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 10:20pm<b>failedgamer01</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 8:13pm<b>KwtWaffles</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:41pm<b>BowChikaFuckYou</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:13am<b>Schrypt</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:07am<b>Connerm</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 10:28pm<b>badoo</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:40pm<b>mkayden</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:50pm<b>Blade12337</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 10:44am<b>moophasa</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 12:17am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 8:50pm<b>kittykat8770</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:48pm<b>LittleBuddy1</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:39pm<b>feven</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 4:45pm

Liked!<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 3:38pm<b>anonykinetic</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 5:53am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Jthewat</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:19pm<b>frances1942</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:36am<b>nix1993</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:20am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 5:28am<b>Prismo_Feeds</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:48am<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:49pm<b>jhill5472</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:25pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:20pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML

#21301556
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (5657)

On 11/18/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

#21299204
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28346) - you deserved it (2320)

On 11/14/2014 at 9:18pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31259) - you deserved it (3454)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML

#21298328
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34749) - you deserved it (2070)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:17pm - misc - by really - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

#21297437
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33610) - you deserved it (2987)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21am - love - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my cat tunneled her way under the covers to sleep beside me. It was really cute until she panicked in the middle of the night and practically skinned me alive trying to find her way out. FML

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

#21295011
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35003) - you deserved it (2816)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:36pm - misc - by ItGirl - Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan)

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." FML

#21291174
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35665) - you deserved it (3000)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:54am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

#21290234
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30537) - you deserved it (2681)

On 11/02/2014 at 1:30am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML

#21289586
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33030) - you deserved it (12247)

On 11/01/2014 at 8:58am - misc - by That Guy - United States (Florida)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually tried to justify his cheating by saying it doesn't count as cheating if the girl's bisexual. FML

#21288568
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32372) - you deserved it (2508)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I tried approaching this cute girl. She quickly picked up the nearest calculator and started talking into it, in a desperate act to seem busy. FML

#21288185
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31502) - you deserved it (3206)

On 10/30/2014 at 1:38am - love - by 41yearoldvirgin - United States (California)

Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML

#21286908
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31805) - you deserved it (3588)

On 10/28/2014 at 10:07am - misc - by bottombarrel - United States (Ohio)

Today, I watched my co-worker throw the mother of all temper tantrums. He's a radio personality, and just learned that he's not famous enough to use the "Don't you know who I am?" line to get out of a traffic ticket. FML

#21286268
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29812) - you deserved it (2625)

On 10/27/2014 at 12:25pm - work - by Radio GaGa (man) - Canada



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: