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MrSassypants

Offline (the 01/30/2016 at 4:55am) | Search for a member

MrSassypants

208Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 32826
  • Number of comments : 2292
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>lalathefairy</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Sleep_lover654</b> - yesterday at 8:57pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 7:44pm<b>Spartancjm</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:29pm<b>scaredpollo</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:34am<b>thisguy22</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:46am<b>turtles_yup</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 9:15am<b>Sora_McKain</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 12:41am<b>MrGodface</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 8:33pm<b>TheMike23</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 5:27pm<b>llamadramas</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:03am<b>HedgeFox90</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 4:07am<b>AwesomeRPGDigo</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 3:50pm<b>Addiepop</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 9:24pm<b>liv1222</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 1:36pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:20pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 3:16pm<b>marvelvsdc</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 11:31pm

Fucked!<b>turtles_yup</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:15pm<b>TheMike23</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:27pm<b>MrGodface</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:57am<b>AwesomeRPGDigo</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:51pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:29pm<b>marvelvsdc</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 5:31am<b>DeishaW</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 6:58am<b>hersheykisses511</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:49am<b>samsterling</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 5:11pm<b>mrfailmaster</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:01pm<b>momo3p</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 4:16pm<b>KagamineRinny</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 10:08pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 4:50am<b>rachelthelime</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 11:45pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 3:37pm<b>llama_monicz</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 9:27am<b>Perplexed_Aris</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 8:26pm<b>tassiatessa</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 5:49pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I managed to accidentally drop an entire cake on my laptop's keyboard. There's so much frosting stuck under the keys, I have no idea how I'm going to clean it out. FML

#21496938
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20418) - you deserved it (7035)

On 11/26/2015 at 2:57am - misc - by hating my life - United States

Today, I realized why "Stay off the grass" signs were all over campus. I cut through the grass on my way to my next class and tripped over a sprinkler head, breaking it off and soaking myself in muddy water. I had to sit through a 4-hour lecture with wet, muddy clothes. FML

#21496891
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11656) - you deserved it (27846)

On 11/26/2015 at 12:35am - misc - by clumsy - United States (Missouri)

Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

#21496296
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (2670)

On 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Zug)

Today, my coworker brought her 3-year-old son to work with her. When introducing him to me, she dropped her bag and bent over to pick it up, knocking him over with her butt in the process. When she stood up, she noticed he was sitting on the ground crying. She then accused me of pushing him over. FML

#21496072
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22895) - you deserved it (1210)

On 11/23/2015 at 10:34pm - work - by Notakidpusher - United States (California)

Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML

#21495221
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20471) - you deserved it (2639)

On 11/21/2015 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

#21495080
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23353) - you deserved it (2153)

On 11/21/2015 at 5:03am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I drove to my cousin's house so he could help me fix my broken tail light. On the way there, I got pulled over for having a broken tail light. FML

#21494946
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21963) - you deserved it (3527)

On 11/20/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by nozVail - United States

Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML

#21494906
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21246) - you deserved it (3218)

On 11/20/2015 at 4:25pm - misc - by brokeasscollegelife (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

#21494790
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27439) - you deserved it (2542)

On 11/20/2015 at 9:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss asked me if I'd realized that "I support ISIS" was written on the bottom of my water bottle. The bottle was a gift from my dad. FML

#21494137
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23475) - you deserved it (1820)

On 11/18/2015 at 7:52pm - work - by Secret Isis supporter (man) - United States (California)

Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML

#21493972
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21267) - you deserved it (1602)

On 11/18/2015 at 9:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I took a picture of the combination to my new lock so I would always have it on my phone if I ever forgot it. I put my phone in my gym locker, locked it with the new lock, then promptly forgot the combination. FML

#21493633
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13274) - you deserved it (25146)

On 11/17/2015 at 2:01pm - misc - by mmoments - United States

Today, at a family dinner, my mom announced that my newborn brother was named after his father. His name is Kevin. My dad's name is Michael. FML

#21493096
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25856) - you deserved it (1606)

On 11/16/2015 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Maldives (Maale)

Today, I got out of bed, soaked up the beautiful sunlight, and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I saw my dad rummaging through the fridge, shirtless and one ball poking through his underwear. I needed to see that about as much as I need ass cancer. FML

#21492071
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22158) - you deserved it (2421)

On 11/13/2015 at 11:32am - misc - by eyegouger15 (man) - United States



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