Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

MrSassypants

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15126
  • Number of comments : 1825
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>psychopolarbear</b> - 8 hours ago<b>akirakuran42</b> - 8 hours ago<b>ohSNAPyall</b> - 9 hours ago<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Welshite</b> - 19 hours ago<b>zandra2020</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:30pm<b>NinjaDitto623</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:08pm<b>jjcoombs22</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:31pm<b>Dumonster1697</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:33pm<b>bagofpopkern</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:32pm<b>LiliLatte</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:02pm<b>LastQueenLyssa</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:43pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:51am<b>lexa1love</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:32am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:50pm<b>DaDezza244</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:48am<b>Brent40321</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:55am

Liked!<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:20pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a bird that had fallen from its nest, so I made a new nest for it in a shoebox and put it as close to the old one as possible. When I checked back on it later, all I found was a chewed-up corpse. FML

#21135882
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35967) - you deserved it (5513)

On 05/10/2014 at 5:32pm - animals - by KHAAAAA-RMA!! (man) - United States

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

#21135494
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35509) - you deserved it (3410)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, some girl in the street mistook me for Richard Simmons. FML

#21134956
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33284) - you deserved it (5309)

On 05/09/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by romancocks - United States (Florida)

Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML

Today, I waited two hours in line at college to select my classes. I finally got to the desk, only to be told I have to apply online before I can show up in person. FML

#21122928
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34877) - you deserved it (8871)

On 04/25/2014 at 6:59pm - misc - by firelava (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

#21107739
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47882) - you deserved it (3587)

On 04/08/2014 at 4:13pm - kids - by vreenya (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19622) - you deserved it (43724)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

#21105380
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37881) - you deserved it (5784)

On 04/05/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML

#21105342
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32652) - you deserved it (8048)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by lamemom - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, the girl I've been dating for two weeks brought up the topic of marriage, then started asking me when we're moving in together. FML

#21102998
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45864) - you deserved it (6303)

On 04/02/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47860) - you deserved it (5916)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40170) - you deserved it (9481)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

#21092620
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34291) - you deserved it (7136)

On 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by richard (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I started at my new job. My manager, upon meeting me, hugged me and sniffed my neck, then commented that I smelled "natural" and told me how much he loves that. I have to work with this creep until god knows when. FML

#21081278
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37273) - you deserved it (3496)

On 03/08/2014 at 12:19pm - work - by kittykat033 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: