MrSassypants

Search for a member

Offline (one hour ago)

MrSassypants

216Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 33951
  • Number of comments : 2301
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>eski2015</b> - yesterday at 1:33pm<b>crharding</b> - yesterday at 5:11am<b>EvilPandaxD</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 4:08am<b>Cadburry</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 2:16am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 10:07pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 6:26pm<b>BakedBanana</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 9:03am<b>samsterling</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 6:43pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 5:54am<b>LaprasTV</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 5:07am<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 9:20am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 8:52am<b>TheMike23</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 7:19pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 3:33pm<b>schindler12345</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 12:14pm<b>shebewoofle</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 10:26am<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 3:37pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 7:22am

Fucked!<b>eski2015</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 3:47am<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 3:21pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 11:26pm<b>kitkatjoy_96</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 4:16am<b>BrainEaters</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 7:48am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:46am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 5:02pm<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:50am<b>turtles_yup</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 3:15pm<b>TheMike23</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:27pm<b>MrGodface</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:57am<b>AwesomeRPGDigo</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:51pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:29pm<b>marvelvsdc</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 5:31am<b>DeishaW</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 6:58am<b>hersheykisses511</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:49am<b>samsterling</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 5:11pm<b>mrfailmaster</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 7:01pm

MrSassypants's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother dyed my white work shirt bright green because I beat him to the shower this morning. As it's my only shirt, I had to wear it to work, where there was a surprise audit and I was fired for incorrect uniform. FML

by shrek / 05/02/2016 at 6:25am / Australia / Work

Today, my roommate admitted he spent his half of the rent money on a tattoo. It's all good though, we're just gonna get evicted. FML

by Ted, E. Vic / 05/01/2016 at 1:39am / United States / Money

Today, I walked in on my brother trying to stick his knob into a cola bottle. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2016 at 12:36am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and his best mate got drunk and decided it would be a good idea to try hitchhike naked for a joke. Although no one was willing to pick up two naked 28 year old-men off the side of the main road, someone did call the cops. They are being held overnight. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 5:17am / New Zealand / Miscellaneous

Today, I dropped my wallet and it fell into the perfectly sized hole in the storm drain. FML

by Qwe / 03/19/2016 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, it appears that moth larvae can make a water boiler their home, especially during my absence for four weeks. I learned it the hard way by pouring their boiled carcasses over my noodles. FML

by notgonnaeatthat / 03/17/2016 at 4:40pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Animals

Today, I sent a cover letter in which I bragged about my exceptional attention to detail. After it was sent, I noticed the company name and address were from a different job application. FML

by tango-c / 03/17/2016 at 3:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, my father informed me that he plans to play a drum solo instead of making a speech at my wedding. And yes, he IS completely serious. FML

by DrumrollPlease / 03/10/2016 at 8:59pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, my boyfriend is mad at me for causing him to fail a science test. Apparently he thought I was serious when I told him that homo sapiens were extinct because they were "homo". FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2016 at 2:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after 6 months of university, sex was finally had in my bed. Unfortunately, I had no part in it, though I was in the bed while it happened. FML

by AwkCockBlock / 03/06/2016 at 7:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first driving test. The instructor turned out to be the kind of twit who made me do the full 60-minute test, only to tell me afterwards that he was failing me for the only mistake I made less than 2 minutes after the test started. Time wasting tit. FML

by it's called an accelerator, grandma, get your ass in gear / 03/06/2016 at 2:59pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Miscellaneous

Today, my closest encounter to having sex in the last four months was getting chlamydia from Russell Brand. In a dream. FML

by itssomething / 03/01/2016 at 3:15pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 1:23pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was taking my grandma shopping, when she pointed at a pair of thongs and told me if I don’t start wearing them I won’t get a man. I've been married for 4 years, gran. Thanks for paying attention. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2015 at 4:38pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML

by lolmyfduplife / 12/24/2015 at 1:10am / Animals