Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrSassypants

Online | Search for a member

MrSassypants

154Fucked!

MrSassypantsMrSassypants
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 30198
  • Number of comments : 2185
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : Hello there! My, oh my, don't you look good today!? Dang, male/female/human/alien/4thDimensional creature visiting my profile, you look stunning!

Anyways, my name is Kevin, and I use this app when I am bored, meaning all the time so I'm online often.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 19. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>Drakone</b> - one hour ago<b>hopelessfrantic</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Zoldyck</b> - 7 hours ago<b>sam_wolves</b> - 8 hours ago<b>lilferrit</b> - 9 hours ago<b>thefmlman2011</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Mobetta_2300</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Rugabee</b> - 15 hours ago<b>mineller</b> - 18 hours ago<b>gte225</b> - 19 hours ago<b>IncognitoPoison</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - yesterday at 9:26am<b>apineapple</b> - yesterday at 9:11am<b>TheTshirt</b> - yesterday at 8:22am<b>stephenseiber1</b> - yesterday at 12:03pm<b>XPiemaster</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 12:42am<b>Natro47505</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:12pm<b>mbock</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 11:24pm

Fucked!<b>qsxsqsxs</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:40am<b>I_Like_Dogs</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:24pm<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:57pm<b>luridz</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:37am<b>schindler12345</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 3:50am<b>BWAHA</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:40pm<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:34pm<b>leafynitemare</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 11:24am<b>JessiPark</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 1:52am<b>MissEris</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:28pm<b>bobby0000000</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 2:00am<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 9:31am<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 4:10am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 2:37pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 7:13am<b>AnonymousBella</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:40am<b>chuchusheep</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:08pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 4:26am

MrSassypants's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of MrSassypants's badges

MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML

#21461344
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1933) - you deserved it (6787)

On 08/27/2015 at 1:44pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, on my daughter's 9th birthday, I have to let her know that her dog died in his sleep overnight. Happy birthday. FML

#21461306
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14191) - you deserved it (743)

On 08/27/2015 at 11:36am - kids - by JDCH_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML

#21461238
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13683) - you deserved it (3811)

On 08/27/2015 at 4:37am - work - by Anon (man) - United States

Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML

#21461075
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15692) - you deserved it (1065)

On 08/26/2015 at 8:28pm - kids - by tortureromoretorture - United States (New York)

Today, I planned on telling the girl I like that I have feelings for her. What I didn't plan on was having a panic attack and whispering "I really like you!" super creepily and immediately saying "bye" and running away in shame. FML

Today, my boss broke off our relationship because he said it's inappropriate. I really liked him, but I accepted it and respected his integrity. A few hours later, I found out he's now dating my colleague. FML

#21460841
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20679) - you deserved it (3046)

On 08/26/2015 at 4:33am - work - by salope (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21460636
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19952) - you deserved it (1619)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:46pm - health - by whovian221b (woman) - United States

Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML

#21460634
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18129) - you deserved it (6114)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:38pm - love - by FlyAwayPlease (woman) - United Kingdom (Flintshire)

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

#21460410
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19922) - you deserved it (4992)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a concert and the performer told everyone to wave their phones in the air. I threw my hand up and then a huge woman caught my iPhone and disappeared into the crowd. FML

#21459682
57 comments

Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML

#21459620
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20893) - you deserved it (2323)

On 08/23/2015 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after nearly 2 years, my now ex-girlfriend decided she was ready to have sex. Specifically, sex with my dad. FML

#21459616
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25134) - you deserved it (1555)

On 08/23/2015 at 9:45am - love - by pontwa (man) - Australia

Today, after nearly 2 years, my now ex-girlfriend decided she was ready to have sex. Specifically, sex with my dad. FML

#21459616
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25134) - you deserved it (1555)

On 08/23/2015 at 9:45am - love - by pontwa (man) - Australia

Today, I had a box full of crickets in my room. I sealed it up with tape and went to take a shower. When I returned, I found that the box had popped open, releasing almost all of the crickets. I can still hear the chirping. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through charades. FML

#21457655
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19213) - you deserved it (4788)

On 08/18/2015 at 4:17pm - love - by I hate games - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: