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About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.
Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 22 years old. I am 16. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88) - you deserved it (7)
On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63) - you deserved it (11)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by KieRendan (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (189) - you deserved it (1501)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by stupidity (woman) - Switzerland (Geneve)
Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (970) - you deserved it (2782)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:07am - work - by emliv12 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4083) - you deserved it (225)
On 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by Byebye - Netherlands (Groningen)
Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3378) - you deserved it (658)
On 05/24/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3231) - you deserved it (610)
On 05/24/2012 at 2:26pm - work - by thwack - United States
Today, I realized the only reason my phone ever rings is because someone needs help with their computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3213) - you deserved it (281)
On 05/24/2012 at 12:41pm - misc - by that guy - United States
Today, I had dinner with my family for the first time in a couple of days. My mum and dad spent the majority of the time arguing whether salt or pepper weighed more. This is why I'm not home often. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3933) - you deserved it (369)
On 05/23/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15437) - you deserved it (5430)
On 05/20/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by shygirl - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5516) - you deserved it (525)
On 05/20/2012 at 1:19am - misc - by slayerdeath - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1548) - you deserved it (8350)
On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was trying to convince my husband to not trim the lower branches of my favorite tree. After pleading my case, I turned around and ran smack into one of said branches. My face and my dignity still hurt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1851) - you deserved it (4046)
On 05/17/2012 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10262) - you deserved it (1097) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I went to a club with some friends. I ordered two drinks from the waitress and gave her a fifty. She never returned with the change, and the rest of the staff claimed they didn't know who I was talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6458) - you deserved it (1362)
On 05/14/2012 at 5:46pm - money - by Jon (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
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