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MrSassypants

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MrSassypants

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16231
  • Number of comments : 1857
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About MrSassypants : I am a football playing king in space.... with a mustache.

Well I lied on my profile and said I am about 23 years old. I am 18. Sorry I am a filthy liar. You should call me and tell me how much of a filthy boy I am. My number is: 012-345-6789.

MrSassypants's page activity

Visits<b>carzaki27</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Flaming_Pandas</b> - 13 hours ago<b>devildog562</b> - 16 hours ago<b>rozline96</b> - 16 hours ago<b>sammiixoxo</b> - 20 hours ago<b>DubiousDude69</b> - 23 hours ago<b>xokpxo</b> - yesterday at 3:46am<b>kittina</b> - yesterday at 2:14am<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - yesterday at 1:04am<b>ispeakspanish</b> - yesterday at 12:59am<b>Prismo_Feeds</b> - yesterday at 12:47am<b>Harpy</b> - yesterday at 10:52pm<b>alynnek</b> - yesterday at 9:39pm<b>DanShowsNoMercy</b> - yesterday at 8:38pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - yesterday at 8:16pm<b>AlexaWuzHere</b> - yesterday at 8:10pm<b>Welshite</b> - yesterday at 7:05pm<b>musicluver967</b> - yesterday at 4:25pm

Liked!<b>Prismo_Feeds</b> - yesterday at 6:48am<b>hetalia_thailand</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:49pm<b>jhill5472</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:25pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:20pm

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MrSassypants's favorite FMLs

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1350) - you deserved it (96)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19945) - you deserved it (1487)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19446) - you deserved it (2249)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML

#21283412
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22711) - you deserved it (2362)

On 10/22/2014 at 9:33pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31204) - you deserved it (3811)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26782) - you deserved it (2749)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

Today, I showed up to work and my boss was nowhere to be found. A phone call later, I find out he's in Dubai. Oh, and since I'm his personal assistant, I should be able to take care of matters until he gets back. I've only been his assistant for a week. FML

#21281510
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28911) - you deserved it (2112)

On 10/20/2014 at 12:53am - work - by are you kidding me - United States (Kansas)

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28586) - you deserved it (3757)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35428) - you deserved it (7060)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

#21276741
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33822) - you deserved it (3217)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:13am - animals - by MissBeyoncé - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years, who can't get it up for me and has been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently has no problem getting it up while watching the neighbor undress from our window. FML

#21276105
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36490) - you deserved it (4119)

On 10/12/2014 at 9:21am - intimacy - by MotherMary - United States (Missouri)



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