About MrEpicSqueaky101 : I got some dank memes to make up for my stupidity. If any of you want to talk dont be afraid to message me. :)
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MrEpicSqueaky101's favorite FMLs
Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2016 at 3:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Random / 02/25/2016 at 5:09pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML
by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by whattheactualfuck / 01/22/2016 at 7:50am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Miscellaneous
Today, my cat managed to digest some of the grass she ate. This makes her poop come out daisy-chained, and sometimes leaves a piece dangling from her ass on a string of grass. Then she runs around like crazy until it falls off, if possible on my bed. I had to catch her and pull it out by hand. FML
by DeeZeeMb / 12/07/2015 at 4:04pm / Slovenia (Maribor) / Animals
by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy
by nnniii / 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/13/2015 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML
by sistertaxi / 05/14/2015 at 10:23am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by -_- / 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by shittysituation / 01/05/2015 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2015 at 11:58am / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Money
by lexigan4 / 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML
by GallowsHumor / 09/15/2014 at 4:28pm / Finland / Work