About Mr116 : Well I'm a 20 year old who loves to listen to music, play video games, and read. I come to FML to make me laugh because no matter how bad your day is going there is always someone else who has it worse.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29625) - you deserved it (2884)
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31360) - you deserved it (2941) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23589) - you deserved it (2514)
On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6146) - you deserved it (6626)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a therapist told me that I was too depressed to attend his depression group meetings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22452) - you deserved it (1782)
On 04/24/2012 at 7:22am - health - by Sad Sally (woman) - United States
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19075) - you deserved it (4317)
On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22196) - you deserved it (2136)
On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58204) - you deserved it (2757)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21394) - you deserved it (2857)
On 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39882) - you deserved it (1834)
On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60203) - you deserved it (13186)
On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14866) - you deserved it (43422)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36859) - you deserved it (9981)
On 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm - love - by CastAway (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23874) - you deserved it (51290)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (494007) - you deserved it (44133)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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