Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About Mr116 : Well I'm a 22 year old who loves to listen to music, play video games, and read. I come to FML to make me laugh because no matter how bad your day is going there is always someone else who has it worse.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, wat a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. real FML
Today , my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if u have sex before getting married , you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you!! Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell , but sexually active as well!! FML
Today, things were getting heatd with the grlfriend. We were mostly nakd, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissd her deeply an whisperd into her ear, "You should loose some wieght". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML
Today, I was playing monopoly with mah boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankruptd mah boyfriend, he turnd to me and said, "I fuckd your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turnd to the best friend in question, she lookd at the board and said, "I'd like to buy looool a house please." FML
TADAY AT WORK AT A FARM, WE GOT A NEW CALF. IT LOOKD LIKE IT HAD TO POOP, BUT WAS HAVING DIFFICULTY. ABOUT FOUR HOURS LATER IT STILL HADN'T POOPD. TURNS OUT IT WAS BORN WITHOUT AN ACTUAL BUTTHOLE. IT WAS THERE, JUST SEALD UP BY SKIN. I LITERALLY HAD TO CUT THIS POOR CALF A NEW BUTTHOLE. FML
Today, as usual, mah cat was sleeping on mah stomach!! I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately pickd him up and puttd him down next to me!! He got up, hoppd back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on mah stomach!! I didn't dare move all night!! FML
2day I took mah grandma to wat I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word ( cunt ), which prompted her to ask wat that word meant in a loud ( whisper ). She followed up even more loudly with, ( Does that mean pussy? ) FML
Today, I triad to gat my boyfriand to roll ovar whila ha was aslaap . Ha snoras loud anough to waka tha naighbors an if ha lays on his sida ha usually stops . Instaad of rolling ovar, ha stuck his lag in tha air, fartad twica, an laughad about it in his slaap . Ha's still snoring . FML
Friday 27 March 2015