MitunaCaptor

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Offline (the 12/12/2015 at 12:55pm)

MitunaCaptor

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 July 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3998
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About MitunaCaptor : Predictably unpredictable.
I'm still afraid of the toaster popping.
Its hard for me to talk to people so if you message me please understand the delay; I'll eventually get myself to respond.

MitunaCaptor's page activity

Visits<b>Just_A_Pumkin</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 9:00pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:44pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 9:14pm<b>ramman43</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 1:03pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 1:05am<b>flupsht</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:13am<b>bloodlusthatter</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:07pm<b>lolo717</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:59pm<b>kcoffey_69</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 5:12am<b>fastman19</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 7:00am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:41am<b>charrbee90</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:50am<b>firecracker5</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:28pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:37am<b>twye</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 3:08pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:27am<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:00pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 7:58pm

Fucked!<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 7:06am<b>bloodlusthatter</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 10:07pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:33pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 5:38pm<b>ramman43</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:12pm

MitunaCaptor's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of MitunaCaptor's badges

MitunaCaptor's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

by fuckingbeliebers / 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2012 at 6:37am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

by amidreaming?? / 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

by Grindyloo / 05/05/2012 at 6:06am / Kids

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2012 at 11:24am / United States / Love

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

by foshizzle / 04/25/2012 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I found myself humming a Skrillex ditty all day. I'm beginning to wonder if I've had some sort of stroke. FML

by WTF? / 04/19/2012 at 8:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health