Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MitunaCaptor

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

MitunaCaptor

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1790
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MitunaCaptor : Predictably unpredictable.

MitunaCaptor's page activity

Visits<b>grunt2423</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:39pm<b>mineller</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:17am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 10:40am<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 3:56pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 2:10pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 9:17pm<b>LMxDelta38</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:58pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:48pm<b>FabCee</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:36am<b>CelticKing</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 3:32pm<b>ariyahna</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:51pm<b>nandyyyyx</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:47pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 9:07am<b>BekiJ1</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 11:55pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 11:02pm<b>umerin</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 12:50am<b>Moklon</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:23pm<b>utrax</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 1:21pm

MitunaCaptor's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of MitunaCaptor's badges

MitunaCaptor's favorite FMLs

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9311) - you deserved it (25138)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (2964)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11440) - you deserved it (39291)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

#19913631
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7681) - you deserved it (32480)

On 07/09/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21947) - you deserved it (5812)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37306) - you deserved it (4010)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24640) - you deserved it (3311)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36204) - you deserved it (2337) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

#19536972
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24638) - you deserved it (4271)

On 04/27/2012 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21855) - you deserved it (2685)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found myself humming a Skrillex ditty all day. I'm beginning to wonder if I've had some sort of stroke. FML

#19497404
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13601) - you deserved it (5142)

On 04/19/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31468) - you deserved it (2660)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
583 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13724) - you deserved it (55279) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14550) - you deserved it (34484)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: