Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MitunaCaptor

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

MitunaCaptor

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1136
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MitunaCaptor : Predictably unpredictable.

MitunaCaptor's page activity

Visits<b>Moklon</b> - 16 hours ago<b>utrax</b> - 23 hours ago<b>AirBusDriver</b> - 24 hours ago<b>BekiJ1</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:43am<b>atnskr</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 3:37am<b>edward80</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 6:00am<b>DollyDope</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 2:26pm<b>AFur</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 4:16am<b>zilla52</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 12:34pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 4:04pm<b>Ayada</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 8:54pm<b>Angelichoney</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 2:25pm<b>abbiyroad</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 10:51pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 10:26am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 1:05am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 4:19am

MitunaCaptor's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of MitunaCaptor's badges

MitunaCaptor's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7307) - you deserved it (32253)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24731) - you deserved it (1778)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26190) - you deserved it (2142)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23479) - you deserved it (4214) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

#20131002
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (2182)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

#20127336
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10516) - you deserved it (17382)

On 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm - misc - by nickw177 (man) - United States

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29722) - you deserved it (6034)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19604) - you deserved it (4194)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59371) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23699) - you deserved it (3876)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20105) - you deserved it (4313)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

#20054806
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22952) - you deserved it (1995)

On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9280) - you deserved it (25064)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (2958)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11388) - you deserved it (39216)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: