MitunaCaptor

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Offline (the 12/12/2015 at 12:55pm)

MitunaCaptor

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 July 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3941
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About MitunaCaptor : Predictably unpredictable.
I'm still afraid of the toaster popping.
Its hard for me to talk to people so if you message me please understand the delay; I'll eventually get myself to respond.

MitunaCaptor's page activity

Visits<b>Just_A_Pumkin</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 9:00pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:44pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 9:14pm<b>ramman43</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 1:03pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 1:05am<b>flupsht</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:13am<b>bloodlusthatter</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 4:07pm<b>lolo717</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:59pm<b>kcoffey_69</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 5:12am<b>fastman19</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 7:00am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:41am<b>charrbee90</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:50am<b>firecracker5</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 10:28pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:37am<b>twye</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 3:08pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:27am<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:00pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 7:58pm

Fucked!<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 7:06am<b>bloodlusthatter</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 10:07pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:33pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 5:38pm<b>ramman43</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:12pm

MitunaCaptor's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of MitunaCaptor's badges

MitunaCaptor's favorite FMLs

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 5:17am / United States / Kids

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2013 at 6:30am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

by kindergarten teacher / 03/23/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

by stillfuckingcrying / 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm / Sweden (Kalmar Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

by mypelvishurts / 02/23/2013 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Work