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MitunaCaptor

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MitunaCaptor
  • Town/Country : Your closet, Eating shoes
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 709
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MitunaCaptor : Predictably unpredictable.

MitunaCaptor's last visitors

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MitunaCaptor's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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MitunaCaptor's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49202) - you deserved it (22850)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML

#20675696
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33373) - you deserved it (4293)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43067) - you deserved it (4604)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49266) - you deserved it (8663)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34787) - you deserved it (3425)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48105) - you deserved it (6309)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35426) - you deserved it (7854)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57496) - you deserved it (19402)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48907) - you deserved it (5425)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37827) - you deserved it (3555)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33636) - you deserved it (7422)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30346) - you deserved it (4982)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18370) - you deserved it (48195)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35408) - you deserved it (3736)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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