Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MitunaCaptor

Offline (23 hours ago) | Search for a member

MitunaCaptor

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 July 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2799
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About MitunaCaptor : Predictably unpredictable.
I'm still afraid of the toaster popping.
Its hard for me to talk to people so if you message me please understand the delay; I'll eventually get myself to respond.

MitunaCaptor's page activity

Visits<b>twye</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 3:08pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 6:09am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:27am<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:00pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 7:58pm<b>gamernation89</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 6:00pm<b>LeBandit</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 2:59pm<b>grunt2423</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 11:39pm<b>mineller</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:17am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 10:40am<b>Trollx</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 2:10pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 9:17pm<b>LMxDelta38</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:58pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:48pm<b>FabCee</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:36am<b>CelticKing</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 3:32pm<b>ariyahna</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:51pm<b>nandyyyyx</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:47pm

MitunaCaptor's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of MitunaCaptor's badges

MitunaCaptor's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39884) - you deserved it (2966)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got my girlfriend to play Smash Bros Brawl with me. As it was her first time, I set up handicaps to give her at least a shot at winning. She won, quite handily. A little irritated at this, I took off the handicaps and tried again. She beat me even faster. FML

#20847705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39747) - you deserved it (24132)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:17am - misc - by Loser (man) - United States

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48992) - you deserved it (14019)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73270) - you deserved it (7240)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47739) - you deserved it (3171)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57225) - you deserved it (66136)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53586) - you deserved it (4061)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML

#20701776
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43173) - you deserved it (7002)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50906) - you deserved it (23616)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML

#20675696
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35434) - you deserved it (4451)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45593) - you deserved it (4830)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52003) - you deserved it (8989)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39669) - you deserved it (4059)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51328) - you deserved it (6659)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: