About Miss_Kristen : Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future.
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Miss_Kristen's favorite FMLs
by _TaToRtOt_ / 07/18/2011 at 9:08am / United States (Virginia) / Money
by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money
by Username / 06/01/2011 at 8:35am / Canada / Work
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
by nicknick2 / 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous
by a man / 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm / United States (Tennessee) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
by insomnitude / 03/05/2011 at 1:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 12:45am / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 12:39pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
by stifledbyyou / 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
by fartwoman / 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Health
by unfortunate419 / 02/17/2010 at 2:30am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by saintmichi / 01/31/2010 at 7:21pm / Poland (Malopolskie) / Transportation
- Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then… Today, I got it on for the first time with a guy I've been dating. He had to turn the TV up loud so… Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner.…