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Miss_Kristen

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Miss_Kristen

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2335
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Miss_Kristen : Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future.

Miss_Kristen's page activity

Visits<b>tardisseeker</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 6:00pm<b>MrPlamen</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:00am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 4:27pm<b>Scarface408</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 5:21am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:46am<b>TiddlesWiddles</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 8:19am<b>VeganDarkLight</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 10:19pm<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:56pm<b>waffleeater_153</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 6:29pm<b>MrPigg</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 4:24am<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 12:45am<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:54pm<b>CTPope74</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 5:19pm<b>AndrewWeschke</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 4:31pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:25pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:16pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 6:06am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 12:49am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:46pm

Miss_Kristen's FML badges

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Miss_Kristen's badges

Miss_Kristen's favorite FMLs

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11484) - you deserved it (38312)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45961) - you deserved it (4219)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41134) - you deserved it (3887)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML

#19457431
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20502) - you deserved it (6694)

On 04/12/2012 at 7:53pm - misc - by questionmark707 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23342) - you deserved it (9530)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17302) - you deserved it (29710)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12113) - you deserved it (91608)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44427) - you deserved it (8875)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent $500 buying my lost cat back from a jerk who thought it was his. I get home and my mom tells me that she'd sold it to the same guy for $10 because she thought the cat was ruining my love life. FML

#17467108
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37334) - you deserved it (6035)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:16am - money - by Username - United States

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52806) - you deserved it (3520)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

#17296721
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27110) - you deserved it (9951)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:27am - misc - by sofargone420 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at a fancy dress party, I got off with Hitler. FML

#17277146
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20768) - you deserved it (37523)

On 07/27/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by SallyGeen (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

#17233165
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43118) - you deserved it (5617) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

#17233165
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43118) - you deserved it (5617) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

#17188929
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43790) - you deserved it (3576)

On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)



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