Miss_Kristen

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Miss_Kristen

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2728
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Miss_Kristen : Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future.

Miss_Kristen's page activity

Visits<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 7:33pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 10:06pm<b>smrn95</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 3:47pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 8:09pm<b>sanchogrim</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 11:05am<b>Ninjahiga</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 11:11pm<b>edenxero</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 3:31am<b>172pilot</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 11:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:35pm<b>kianabanannna</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 9:44am<b>tardisseeker</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 6:00pm<b>MrPlamen</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:00am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 4:27pm<b>Scarface408</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 5:21am<b>TiddlesWiddles</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 8:19am<b>VeganDarkLight</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 10:19pm<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:56pm

Fucked!<b>DrowningLessons</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 1:33am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:46pm

Miss_Kristen's FML badges

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Miss_Kristen's badges

Miss_Kristen's favorite FMLs

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML

by questionmark707 / 04/12/2012 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

by anonymous / 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

by Miss_Kristen / 02/26/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

by imy / 10/18/2011 at 11:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I spent $500 buying my lost cat back from a jerk who thought it was his. I get home and my mom tells me that she'd sold it to the same guy for $10 because she thought the cat was ruining my love life. FML

by Username / 08/14/2011 at 3:16am / United States / Money

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

by sofargone420 / 07/29/2011 at 10:27am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a fancy dress party, I got off with Hitler. FML

by SallyGeen / 07/27/2011 at 3:23am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

by mathii / 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm / Love

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

by mathii / 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm / Love

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

by therundown / 07/20/2011 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Health