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Misanthropist

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Misanthropist
  • Town/Country : Orono, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 October 1988 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 34269
  • Number of comments : 161
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Misanthropist : I comment stupid people.

*If you write an FML based on being fat, I'm just gonna click YDI and silently loathe you for wasting my time.

*If you write an FML about high school relationships, I'm gonna mock you; hopefully at that point natural selection will kick in.

*If a child has verbally hurt your feelings enough to write about it here, you need to smack yourself as hard as I would have smacked the brat.

*If you try and argue with me in the comments section; you are wrong, and everyone knows it.

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Misanthropist's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70764) - you deserved it (3941)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
450 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33859) - you deserved it (110009)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (203436) - you deserved it (59400)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

#632473
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139776) - you deserved it (24742)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (193711) - you deserved it (21250)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

#461201
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118945) - you deserved it (6270)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:40am - intimacy - by cmerr (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the check out line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was okay. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML

#314524
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74638) - you deserved it (5646)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:13am - health - by choker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938
1625 comments

I agree, your life sucks (471076) - you deserved it (584939)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)



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