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MinatoArisato's favorite FMLs
Today, in a rush to squeeze out of a particularly tight parking spot, I made a hurried 12-point turn. Just to make sure I had enough room behind, I hopped out of my car. It was still in reverse. I managed to wreck my own car without even sitting in it. FML
by tandc / 05/01/2012 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy
by xharmonyx / 04/24/2012 at 4:29am / United States / Work
by stoggie96 / 04/22/2012 at 11:34am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Jenn P / 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
by fuck / 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
by burr415 / 04/20/2012 at 6:55pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Health
by caaarl / 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML
by Fartfail / 04/18/2012 at 9:43am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 8:38am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by sigh / 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/15/2012 at 9:55am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Health
Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML
by needurlove / 04/15/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…