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MinatoArisato's favorite FMLs
Today, in a rush to squeeze out of a particularly tight parking spot, I made a hurried 12-point turn. Just to make sure I had enough room behind, I hopped out of my car. It was still in reverse. I managed to wreck my own car without even sitting in it. FML
by tandc / 05/01/2012 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy
by xharmonyx / 04/24/2012 at 4:29am / United States / Work
by stoggie96 / 04/22/2012 at 11:34am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Jenn P / 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
by fuck / 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
by burr415 / 04/20/2012 at 6:55pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Health
by caaarl / 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML
by Fartfail / 04/18/2012 at 9:43am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/18/2012 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 8:38am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by sigh / 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/15/2012 at 9:55am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Health
Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML
by needurlove / 04/15/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
- Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get… Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned,… Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb…