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MinatoArisato's favorite FMLs
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
by quirrus / 05/07/2012 at 5:42am / United States / Intimacy
by Kwalker3 / 05/06/2012 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 8:07am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy
by anonymous4991 / 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by screwedupkid / 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 11:29pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML
by grovage / 05/02/2012 at 8:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by muddled / 05/02/2012 at 2:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, in a rush to squeeze out of a particularly tight parking spot, I made a hurried 12-point turn. Just to make sure I had enough room behind, I hopped out of my car. It was still in reverse. I managed to wreck my own car without even sitting in it. FML
by tandc / 05/01/2012 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy
by xharmonyx / 04/24/2012 at 4:29am / United States / Work
by stoggie96 / 04/22/2012 at 11:34am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Jenn P / 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
by fuck / 04/20/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, my friend was waiting outside the store while I bought a newspaper. Through the window, I saw two guys getting physical with him, so I went outside and they took off. I muttered, "Yeah, I thought so." They then turned around and beat the crap out of us. FML
by burr415 / 04/20/2012 at 6:55pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…