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MinatoArisato's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML
by ... / 01/04/2014 at 12:25am / United States / Love
Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 12:20pm / United States / Love
Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML
by Jizzyface / 12/29/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Kids
by jack s.b. / 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by cricketsins / 11/07/2013 at 10:33pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by ShittyProposal / 10/20/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML
by overly nationalistic redneck / 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
by CreamGravy / 10/06/2013 at 9:54am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by CandyCrushAddict / 09/21/2013 at 11:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML
by reallythough / 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
by dating walter white's gf apparently / 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by anon / 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm / United States / Health