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MinatoArisato's favorite FMLs
by Anonytard / 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm / Russian Federation (Moskva) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/27/2014 at 9:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:34am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML
by ... / 01/04/2014 at 12:25am / United States / Love
Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 12:20pm / United States / Love
Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML
by Jizzyface / 12/29/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Kids
by jack s.b. / 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by cricketsins / 11/07/2013 at 10:33pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by ShittyProposal / 10/20/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML
by overly nationalistic redneck / 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
by CreamGravy / 10/06/2013 at 9:54am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
- Today, I met the man of my dreams. Hot, funny, smart, sensitive, he guesses at what I need before I… Today, I found out my hours at work were getting cut and given to another employee. Not only are my… Today, my best friend of 12 years told me she couldn't attend my wedding. What was so important to…