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MinatoArisato's favorite FMLs
Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Lisa / 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by ToddlersWife / 06/15/2014 at 7:10am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love
by salmone / 05/15/2014 at 9:03pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by ShutTheFuCupcake / 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML
by I suck :( / 05/07/2014 at 5:25pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML
by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by nh-Amazon / 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by testacular / 03/25/2014 at 5:20pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy
by Anonytard / 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm / Russian Federation (Moskva) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/27/2014 at 9:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML
by Anonymous / 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 2:34am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous