MinatoArisato

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MinatoArisato

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  • Town/Country : New York, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 February 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2376
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Etched</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:15am

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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MinatoArisato's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2015 at 1:24am / France / Love

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

by seethroughpee / 05/06/2015 at 1:22am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, the cops showed up at our door at 11 pm. Apparently, our neighbours thought I was being abused because they heard high-pitched screaming for 45 minutes straight. Little did they know our 6-month-old baby screams when she's happy. Loudly. FML

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

by morphea / 04/29/2015 at 6:54pm / France (Bretagne) / Animals

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

by Not dying. / 04/21/2015 at 3:55am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

by HM / 04/16/2015 at 9:10am / United States (New Mexico) / Animals

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

by Evra / 04/16/2015 at 1:04am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2015 at 11:10am / United States / Love

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

by NotALuckyGuy / 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I ripped my stitches while taking a shit. FML

Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML

by chassezlenaturel / 03/24/2015 at 8:58am / Belgium / Love

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

by Mr. Sniffles / 03/23/2015 at 11:43am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned in my homework. Too bad I accidentally handed in the printed answer sheet I found online to copy from. FML

by copycat / 03/19/2015 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML

by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids