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MinatoArisato's favorite FMLs
by BananaCoconutty / 05/16/2015 at 12:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML
by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 1:08pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm / India (Delhi) / Intimacy
Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML
by flibbertigibbet / 05/07/2015 at 4:56pm / United States (California) / Health
by seethroughpee / 05/06/2015 at 1:22am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML
by Not dying. / 04/21/2015 at 3:55am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML
by HM / 04/16/2015 at 9:10am / United States (New Mexico) / Animals
Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2015 at 11:10am / United States / Love
by stitchesgirl12 / 04/07/2015 at 12:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by chassezlenaturel / 03/24/2015 at 8:58am / Belgium / Love
Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML
by Mr. Sniffles / 03/23/2015 at 11:43am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I ate an apple. My sister then walks in dressed as a witch, and asks, "Have you seen my poisoned apple?" She was playing at Snow White, and the apple had been dipped in the toilet, the cat's food bowl and the garbage can. FML
by dorianseiji / 03/11/2015 at 4:37pm / France (Picardie) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous