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MiTTensTheKAt's FML badges
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MiTTensTheKAt's favorite FMLs
by PokeWife / 02/06/2013 at 8:38am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:07am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 12:33am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy
by ihncredible / 12/10/2012 at 6:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
by Tonguetied0496 / 12/10/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Love
by besviken / 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm / Sweden (Uppsala Lan) / Intimacy
by SadExperiment / 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by tessamarque / 04/05/2012 at 11:07am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals
by ShylaMarie / 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm / Canada / Kids
Today, I took a taxi to my hotel. I specifically said that my destination was the Hilton resort. He took me to a bed and breakfast across town. When I finally got to my hotel, I cursed him out and didn't give him a tip. I then realized I'd left my phone in the taxi after he left. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2011 at 12:11am / United States / Transportation
Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML
by Anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 9:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love
- Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…