Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Melofa

Search for a member

Melofa

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 December 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1296
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Melofa : Hi :)

Melofa's page activity

Visits<b>HerpaderpGlaze</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:50am<b>rob02</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 4:31am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 6:44pm<b>blackwidowtaco</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 4:06am<b>b4dah15</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 11:22am<b>Douggiedog</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 5:55pm<b>VannahJane</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 1:27am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 10:39pm<b>rickaashe</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 7:31pm<b>Wiringify</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 3:32pm<b>DazzedKarent</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 2:29pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 12:32pm<b>pradip</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 12:27pm<b>olis64</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 11:13am<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 10:34pm

Melofa's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Melofa's badges

Melofa's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31841) - you deserved it (3009)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML

#20003981
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35387) - you deserved it (2568)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by lils (woman) - United States

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

#20003323
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27568) - you deserved it (5850)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML

#19992901
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28527) - you deserved it (2577)

On 07/30/2012 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ukraine (Kyyiv)

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

#19992743
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19526) - you deserved it (4009)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm - animals - by soph511 (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38331) - you deserved it (8188)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11427) - you deserved it (39272)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

#19887405
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11017) - you deserved it (33425)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Jenna (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33141) - you deserved it (4787)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I exchanged pictures with a guy I met online, whose devotion to his family really impressed me. In his picture, he was wearing clown makeup, holding a huge knife to his throat with one hand, and an ICP album in the other. All this with a psychopathic grin on his face. FML

#19877296
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18746) - you deserved it (7129)

On 07/01/2012 at 6:57pm - misc - by probablydeadbymidnight (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with someone on the phone, when at one point I said, "Oh yeah, you like that?" She responded, "I can't actually feel anything you know, we're just on the phone." FML

#18904031
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11168) - you deserved it (31396)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:00am - intimacy - by talkingtoaretard (man) - United States (California)

Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML

#18872855
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9853) - you deserved it (25259)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:44pm - love - by actor my ass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to cancel my birthday party because of snow. It's October. FML

#18104426
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27979) - you deserved it (4588)

On 10/29/2011 at 3:46pm - misc - by bethanygirl - United States

Today, I had to cancel my birthday party because of snow. It's October. FML

#18104426
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27979) - you deserved it (4588)

On 10/29/2011 at 3:46pm - misc - by bethanygirl - United States

Today, I had to cancel my birthday party because of snow. It's October. FML

#18104426
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27979) - you deserved it (4588)

On 10/29/2011 at 3:46pm - misc - by bethanygirl - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: