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Mega_bug's favorite FMLs
Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML
by majorlyturnedoff / 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
by sal / 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy
by Just_Me_88 / 08/18/2012 at 1:09am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by theflow / 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Health
by lonely. / 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML
by larSON5 / 08/15/2012 at 12:17pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 7:40am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML
by ugh / 08/14/2012 at 12:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML
by WELLFUCKYOUTOO / 08/14/2012 at 11:02am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by cclllc / 08/14/2012 at 5:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, it's my birthday. Today is also the day my grandma died, six years ago. Since then, I get to sit through any sort of attempted celebration while my mom sobs and drinks herself into a stupor in the background. FML
by BirthdayFail / 08/14/2012 at 3:57am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/13/2012 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy
by hmmmm / 08/13/2012 at 8:19am / Australia / Intimacy
by happybirthday / 08/12/2012 at 1:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
- Today, as a freelancing musician, I had to pass on the best gig I've ever been offered (worth over… Today, I found out my hours at work were getting cut and given to another employee. Not only are my… Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.…