Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Mega_bug

Search for a member

Mega_bug

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 December 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2009
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Mega_bug's page activity

Visits<b>Nina1988</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:33pm<b>Caylee_G</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 9:02pm<b>MrDante</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 6:50pm<b>swagghazz</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 11:20am<b>sierraleeannee</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 6:02am<b>ozzy7899</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 5:13pm<b>Sara__Isabel</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 2:28pm<b>Meshidaru</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 9:50am<b>superluigi1317</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 6:07am<b>goawayy</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 3:57pm<b>potatopatoto</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:04pm<b>lifeasblair</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 10:47am<b>awesomeforever</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 3:24am<b>neeena94</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 10:46am<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 6:22pm<b>kmiller194</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 12:11am<b>silmisstar</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 5:28pm<b>Odao</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 6:03pm

Mega_bug's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Mega_bug's badges

Mega_bug's favorite FMLs

Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML

#20111577
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27949) - you deserved it (2020)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:56am - love - by agh marriage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33788) - you deserved it (5511)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML

#20110139
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8944) - you deserved it (44809)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:26am - love - by Toolate (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML

#20110068
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29201) - you deserved it (8220)

On 10/10/2012 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Depression... (woman) - United States

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16099) - you deserved it (60893)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

#20108741
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13030) - you deserved it (31509)

On 10/09/2012 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30600) - you deserved it (6423)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

#20103277
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12313) - you deserved it (28836)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

#20101222
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28038) - you deserved it (3271)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44am - love - by Dave (man) - United States

Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML

#20100511
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28720) - you deserved it (1721)

On 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22683) - you deserved it (7368)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

#20100263
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23529) - you deserved it (2218)

On 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by its just twister (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21892) - you deserved it (12236)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26278) - you deserved it (5317)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59367) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: