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Mega_bug's FML badges
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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Mega_bug's favorite FMLs
by jesushelpme / 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by sadguyme / 10/22/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML
by nahalDZ / 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love
Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML
by Anonymous / 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm / Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj) / Intimacy
by not as scarred as he should be / 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by 3023-dang / 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm / United States / Love
by Light Sleeper / 10/14/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by notthebesttime / 10/13/2012 at 8:04am / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, after confronting my boyfriend about cheating on me, he confessed to everything. I was caught off guard by his honesty, but not nearly as caught off guard as I was when he eagerly questioned me on when our breakup sex will be. FML
by You're NOT getting lucky today hun / 10/12/2012 at 5:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my husband to come upstairs to our bedroom, thinking I could get some "special time." It ended up with us arguing about his mother, and him falling asleep cuddling my pillow while sucking his thumb. FML
by anonymous2.0 / 10/12/2012 at 2:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…