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Mega_bug's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by poorkids / 10/31/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML
by anon / 10/31/2012 at 12:22am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
by you / 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by SadExperiment / 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Indianagirl94 / 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm / United States / Love
by le_evan / 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
by Ceej / 10/28/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2012 at 1:45am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML
by jeanrose2013 / 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by TypeOhNegative / 10/22/2012 at 11:18pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the…