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Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106693) - you deserved it (5302)
On 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm - misc - by megan228 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106561) - you deserved it (9346)
On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (94298) - you deserved it (32353)
On 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by badbirthday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (103559) - you deserved it (28189)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96022) - you deserved it (11626)
On 03/15/2009 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by MarMar (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (109701) - you deserved it (14718)
On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I turned 22, without anyone wishing me a happy birthday. In fact, the only phone call I received all day was from my brother. He wanted to borrow money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (103209) - you deserved it (4812)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:59am - misc - by Ondskansgris (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (460039) - you deserved it (571624)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was picking up my daughter from my ex-husband's house and his new girlfriend was there. I called to my daughter that it was time to leave and she clung to his girlfriend and said 'Mommy, I don't want to leave.' She wasn't talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (111330) - you deserved it (7035)
On 03/07/2009 at 3:15pm - kids - by divorced (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (119993) - you deserved it (12007)
On 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by eaa145 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (126131) - you deserved it (3727)
On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23118) - you deserved it (5027)
On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by shorty (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (134129) - you deserved it (37214)
On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to watch it with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35930) - you deserved it (2954)
On 02/03/2009 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by Escape! (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36825) - you deserved it (1910)
On 12/13/2008 at 12:48am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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