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Mega_bug's favorite FMLs
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
by anonymaiacciu / 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm / France / Intimacy
Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML
by Anonymous / 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by alicia / 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by me. / 12/01/2012 at 9:54am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
by Embarassed / 11/23/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Janitoro / 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML
by thinner than you / 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML
by notalovestory / 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
by sadness1992 / 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by HappinessOrOrgasms / 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by i fking love docb / 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm / Virgin Islands, U.S. / Love
Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML
by screwed / 11/04/2012 at 4:55am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…