About MauriceWinifred : Hola, me hablo espanol
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50371) - you deserved it (2888)
On 03/05/2011 at 7:24pm - misc - by poked - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30732) - you deserved it (9863)
On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was paired up with a partner in my Film class. He has an idea for a film: 'shoot an onion from all angles, light it on fire, and roll it down a hill'. He was dead serious. I'm stuck with this guy for the whole year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22199) - you deserved it (2854)
On 02/22/2011 at 9:28am - work - by Dean Heffern -
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38748) - you deserved it (10385)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40053) - you deserved it (7605)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38047) - you deserved it (4376)
On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5074) - you deserved it (35868)
On 01/22/2011 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out I have a huge infected boil on my vagina. The worst part was that I wasn't the one to discover this. My boyfriend was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27544) - you deserved it (7988)
On 01/21/2011 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by alaskan1989 - United States (Alaska)
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27539) - you deserved it (6169)
On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I drove to buy new sneakers to work out and lose weight. Coming out of the store, I saw someone had parked too close to me. I had to beg a stranger to back my car out for me, because no matter how I tried, I couldn't get into the driver's seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17664) - you deserved it (7355)
On 01/19/2011 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7804) - you deserved it (25325)
On 01/19/2011 at 12:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58059) - you deserved it (2755)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58059) - you deserved it (2755)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend told me to stuff my bra before going to a party with him and his friends because he didn't want to be embarrassed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30671) - you deserved it (3571)
On 01/01/2011 at 7:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6251) - you deserved it (36343)
On 12/29/2010 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Friday 24 May 2013
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