MauriceWinifred

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MauriceWinifred

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 July 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5629
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MauriceWinifred : Hola, me hablo espanol

MauriceWinifred's page activity

Visits<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 2:23pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 1:50pm<b>ikeb</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 2:12pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 4:03pm<b>Lesbiantrash</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 2:30pm<b>JimmyL_101</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 4:06am<b>Cbnotme</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 6:02pm<b>steelmoonlight</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 2:48am<b>hannah_cheers</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 3:21pm<b>LostInNeverland</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 5:13am<b>KingSquisher</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 3:19am<b>allorex</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 3:12am<b>BanjoCheeseGuy</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 9:44pm<b>lui_pg</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 5:53pm<b>Benmantha</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 8:43am<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 10:52pm<b>reesesforlife</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:09pm<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 8:02am

Fucked!<b>Benmantha</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 2:44pm<b>wileyking409</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 11:49pm<b>mehibud</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 1:08pm<b>evanvoss</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 10:03pm

MauriceWinifred's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

MauriceWinifred's favorite FMLs

Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML

by poked / 03/05/2011 at 7:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

by insomnitude / 03/05/2011 at 1:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was paired up with a partner in my film class. He has an idea for a film: "Shoot an onion from all angles, light it on fire, and roll it down a hill". He was dead serious. I'm stuck with this guy for the whole year. FML

by Dean Heffern / 02/22/2011 at 9:28am / Work

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

by Scaredwitless / 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2011 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I found out I have a huge infected boil on my vagina. The worst part was that I wasn't the one to discover this. My boyfriend was. FML

by alaskan1989 / 01/21/2011 at 8:27pm / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I drove to buy new sneakers to work out and lose weight. Coming out of the store, I saw someone had parked too close to me. I had to beg a stranger to back my car out for me, because no matter how I tried, I couldn't get into the driver's seat. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

by Anonymous / 01/19/2011 at 12:45am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me to stuff my bra before going to a party with him and his friends because he didn't want to be embarrassed. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2011 at 7:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 11:30am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Transportation