About Matu : Im black
Matu's FML badges
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Matu's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm / United States / Holidays
by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML
by Simms / 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm / United States / Work
Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2011 at 8:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/15/2011 at 12:41am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
by anon / 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by ohdear / 01/27/2011 at 8:07am / United Kingdom (Bury) / Intimacy
by UltraHoe69 / 01/06/2011 at 5:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by cauteriseme / 01/01/2011 at 10:37am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Health
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 9:51am / Canada (Quebec) / Money
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 12:43am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got my science test back. I thought I did a horrible job on it, but only three were circled. I was happy but doubtful that I did so well, so I asked my teacher just to make sure. He said it was faster to circle the correct answers. FML
by lovemyteacher / 11/14/2010 at 12:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous