About Matu : Im black
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12478) - you deserved it (4174)
On 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm - work - by Simms (man) - United States
Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6698) - you deserved it (35408)
On 05/27/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66716) - you deserved it (16940)
On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41271) - you deserved it (7482)
On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my husband and I are celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary. It's also the 5th anniversary of the last time he made me orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (5278)
On 01/27/2011 at 8:07am - intimacy - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Bury)
Today, in gym class, we were forced to learn the "Hoedown Throwdown" dance, by Miley Cyrus. This will actually be counted toward my grade. I'm in high school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32162) - you deserved it (3557)
On 01/06/2011 at 5:57pm - misc - by UltraHoe69 - United States
Today, I changed my facebook relationship status to 'in a relationship'. The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9387) - you deserved it (39934)
On 01/05/2011 at 10:35pm - love - by sadlife -
Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18199) - you deserved it (2767)
On 01/01/2011 at 10:37am - health - by cauteriseme (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9252) - you deserved it (63968)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I hit a patch of black ice and totaled my car. The car is a month old. For the next 5 years I'll be paying for a car I can't drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20162) - you deserved it (6078)
On 12/06/2010 at 9:51am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48946) - you deserved it (8397)
On 12/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by swindstorm -
Today, I changed my phone number because my old one belonged to a prostitute. My new one belongs to a debtor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19387) - you deserved it (1891)
On 11/14/2010 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got my science test back. I thought I did a horrible job on it, but only three were circled. I was happy but doubtful that I did so well, so I asked my teacher just to make sure. He said it was faster to circle the correct answers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8402) - you deserved it (17190)
On 11/14/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by lovemyteacher (woman) - United States (California)
Today, was my girlfriend's birthday. I planned it to perfection: we went shopping, bowling, had lunch in a nice Italian restaurant, watched a French comedy, walked by the river. She also got many presents. Tonight, I was exhausted but happy for her... until she told me her birthday is tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8920) - you deserved it (23555)
On 11/13/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by frenchboyfriend (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my city got almost a foot of snow. When I went out to my car, it was covered in snow with a layer of ice underneath. I went to open the trunk to get the window scraper, when the snow that had collected on the top of my back window slid into my trunk. My laptop was the recipient of most of the snow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14855) - you deserved it (5780)
On 11/13/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by snowman (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Monday 20 May 2013
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