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Matu

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Matu

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 May 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2848
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 45 posted

About Matu : Im black

Matu's page activity

Visits<b>ChaCerCam1</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:24pm<b>lenjiah</b> - the 09/12/2010 at 1:46pm

Matu's FML badges

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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Matu's favorite FMLs

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49253) - you deserved it (6459)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69039) - you deserved it (3960)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

#19274332
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17475) - you deserved it (5727)

On 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm - work - by Simms (man) - United States

Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML

#16377844
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8328) - you deserved it (47767)

On 05/27/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76978) - you deserved it (23634)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47667) - you deserved it (8110)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I are celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary. It's also the 5th anniversary of the last time he made me orgasm. FML

#14729815
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32083) - you deserved it (6556)

On 01/27/2011 at 8:07am - intimacy - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Bury)

Today, in gym class, we were forced to learn the "Hoedown Throwdown" dance, by Miley Cyrus. This will actually be counted toward my grade. I'm in high school. FML

#14487590
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38066) - you deserved it (4018)

On 01/06/2011 at 5:57pm - misc - by UltraHoe69 - United States

Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML

#14480016
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11826) - you deserved it (53248)

On 01/05/2011 at 10:35pm - love - by sadlife -

Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML

#14423827
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23410) - you deserved it (3643)

On 01/01/2011 at 10:37am - health - by cauteriseme (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12344) - you deserved it (81607)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I hit a patch of black ice and totaled my car. The car is a month old. For the next 5 years I'll be paying for a car I can't drive. FML

#14105918
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26044) - you deserved it (7789)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:51am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML

#14105227
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55365) - you deserved it (9369)

On 12/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by swindstorm -

Today, I changed my phone number because my old one belonged to a prostitute. My new one belongs to a debtor. FML

#13835312
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (2555)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my science test back. I thought I did a horrible job on it, but only three were circled. I was happy but doubtful that I did so well, so I asked my teacher just to make sure. He said it was faster to circle the correct answers. FML

#13835168
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10747) - you deserved it (25105)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by lovemyteacher (woman) - United States (California)



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