Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MatGag17895

Search for a member

MatGag17895

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14573
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About MatGag17895 : I don't have much to say...

MatGag17895's page activity

Visits<b>NyxBear</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:48am<b>Enslaved</b> - the 12/18/2011 at 12:36am<b>vernk</b> - the 12/14/2011 at 10:23am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:03pm<b>erpaderp</b> - the 08/17/2011 at 3:33pm<b>Iamnotmyself</b> - the 08/16/2011 at 9:30pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 3:52am

MatGag17895's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of MatGag17895's badges

MatGag17895's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

#17612047
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13189) - you deserved it (55687)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38102) - you deserved it (2866)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20138) - you deserved it (53386)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML

#17541150
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7668) - you deserved it (63790)

On 08/21/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML

#17474941
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10099) - you deserved it (36741)

On 08/14/2011 at 10:51pm - love - by MC (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26554) - you deserved it (9411)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

#17458191
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9218) - you deserved it (35886)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:31am - kids - by Kathryn - Belgium

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

#17455521
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40191) - you deserved it (15062)

On 08/13/2011 at 12:06am - love - by sydneybourgeois - United States (Texas)

Today, I pulled a muscle. Not in any kind of sport or exercise, but while reaching for my computer mouse. FML

#17451682
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12903) - you deserved it (29432)

On 08/12/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by ThisGuy97 - United States

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32130) - you deserved it (4305)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41536) - you deserved it (7584)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

#17355193
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13869) - you deserved it (37673)

On 08/03/2011 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45266) - you deserved it (14961)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41539) - you deserved it (13729)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML

#17270186
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27662) - you deserved it (4985)

On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: