Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 February 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4229
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Masta_Blasta : Masta is numero uno.

Masta_Blasta's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 1:13am<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:49pm<b>coraxtaline</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 2:41am<b>taranoelr</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 8:28pm<b>styles829</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:17pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:33pm<b>shady_fox77</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:09pm<b>Gingerness23</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 1:17am<b>girlrome</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 10:03am<b>dankbongweedlord</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 11:12pm<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 3:44pm<b>sneakattacked</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 12:04am<b>loeramariah</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 3:51am<b>Eire17</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 10:40am<b>sarcasticSOB</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 11:59am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 8:31am<b>datine22</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 5:13pm<b>jillytc</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 8:17pm

Masta_Blasta's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Masta_Blasta's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

by Shoes / 06/12/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

by Baggabbles123 / 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

by sucks / 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

by Cody / 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I couldn't answer almost any of the questions in the game "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" I'm a 40 year old man. FML

by laywer_man / 03/07/2009 at 1:43am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML

by promdump / 03/06/2009 at 9:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

by Can't Spell Worth A Damn / 03/06/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

by cumguzzler / 03/06/2009 at 11:14am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML

by Slipperywhenwet / 02/28/2009 at 8:08am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous