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MaryMag

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MaryMag
  • Town/Country : Far Off, In the Distance
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 814
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MaryMag's favorite FMLs

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

#17672212
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26800) - you deserved it (2794)

On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22044) - you deserved it (7129)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my GPS told me that I'd reached my destination. In the middle of the highway. FML

#17669656
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23306) - you deserved it (4625)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27333) - you deserved it (2569)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26407) - you deserved it (4071)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well, but I ran after him anyway. Thinking I had caught up to him, I grabbed him. It wasn't my dog. It was a skunk. FML

#17666390
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25475) - you deserved it (5031)

On 09/05/2011 at 12:04am - animals - by stinky skunk - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML

#17645605
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21815) - you deserved it (4447)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm - misc - by d0rk_ - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I learned that the "If I can't see you, you can't see me." rule is entirely false. Just because I can't initially see my creepy neighbor, doesn't mean he isn't watching me change my clothes through the blinds. FML

#17585991
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22209) - you deserved it (2989)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Peekaboo (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML

#17582783
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18977) - you deserved it (7196)

On 08/26/2011 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally put the finishing touches on my first vacation in over two years, due to my hellish work schedule. The Governor essentially just vetoed my vacation with evacuation orders. Thanks, Hurricane Irene. FML

#17577670
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23518) - you deserved it (2331)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

#17575215
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29003) - you deserved it (2880)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19429) - you deserved it (1656)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my ex-wife crashed my engagement party. FML

#17566039
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31045) - you deserved it (3413)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33290) - you deserved it (2974)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML

#17563055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23438) - you deserved it (4643)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:44pm - love - by Embarassed (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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