MaryMag

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MaryMag

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1629
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MaryMag's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:24pm<b>x_xTayhlax_x</b> - the 04/03/2011 at 1:16am<b>lmc94</b> - the 03/20/2011 at 4:04pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 7:17am

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50 favourites

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MaryMag's favorite FMLs

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

by thatoneguy / 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

by kidswithnomanners / 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my GPS told me that I'd reached my destination. In the middle of the highway. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

by Brie / 09/05/2011 at 9:00am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 8:05am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog ran away. It was dark, so I couldn't see very well, but I ran after him anyway. Thinking I had caught up to him, I grabbed him. It wasn't my dog. It was a skunk. FML

by stinky skunk / 09/05/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML

by d0rk_ / 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that the "If I can't see you, you can't see me." rule is entirely false. Just because I can't initially see my creepy neighbor, doesn't mean he isn't watching me change my clothes through the blinds. FML

by Peekaboo / 08/26/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 12:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally put the finishing touches on my first vacation in over two years, due to my hellish work schedule. The Governor essentially just vetoed my vacation with evacuation orders. Thanks, Hurricane Irene. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 2:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Holidays

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 2:49am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my ex-wife crashed my engagement party. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2011 at 4:12am / United States / Love

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

by skichick54 / 08/24/2011 at 1:28am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML

by Embarassed / 08/23/2011 at 10:44pm / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation