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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23770) - you deserved it (3893)
On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22329) - you deserved it (2123)
On 09/25/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Leenotgay (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10336) - you deserved it (1807)
On 09/21/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24673) - you deserved it (1978)
On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (2832)
On 09/18/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12560) - you deserved it (33108)
On 09/17/2011 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5795) - you deserved it (41628)
On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States
Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16783) - you deserved it (3136)
Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (12412)
On 09/02/2011 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24441) - you deserved it (2724)
On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)
Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20814) - you deserved it (3895)
On 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by xXangelaXx - United States
Today, my family decided it would be hilarious to catch the biggest moths they could and let them loose in my room. I'm terrified of moths and they thought it would be 'funny as hell' to watch me freak out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8508) - you deserved it (1370)
On 08/18/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by livgasms - United Kingdom
Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30173) - you deserved it (1879)
On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19447) - you deserved it (6687)
On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)
Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9748) - you deserved it (28279)
On 08/13/2011 at 4:22pm - misc - by ifailsobadly (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
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